so the following came up in twitter conversation today, and i realized it was never posted on my website.

a) because i’d like to forget that night with every fiber of my being, but i can’t…
and b) it happened right before i started using ptd.org again in 2008. (i used this image (me, during the night in question #doublefisting) as the header on the first two layouts.   the DF’ing would explain a lot of my issues that night.)

anyways.

so i had just come home from a vacation in cancun with missy the day before, and i was super amazingly psyched that the bouncing souls were playing ON my birthday.  i mean, they’ve been my favorite band since i was like 16… what are the odds!  …and after an amazing week in mehico with one of my favorite amigas???  WHAT?!  #best

no… #worst

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a. the white iphone – i held onto my stupid 3G for as long as i could because i’m not a frivolous spender and i’m a huge believer of “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it”.  buttttttttttt… it broke, lol.  it started freezing up on me at random times and i couldn’t even hard reset or shut the damn thing off.  and everything was running slow as shit, so i upgraded this weekend.
b. sean avery (naked) – (more info) he’s one of my favorite rangers. i constantly get shit for it, but whatever. as much as i am a #16 on the ice fan, he’s also vurrrry hot. so when i saw that it was available on a shirt, you bet your bottom i was grabbing one… #UNF.
c. face to face/strung out – two of my favorite 90′s pop punk bands together. i can’t even describe the joy that wednesday night will be. i have never seen strung out AND i didn’t even know they were playing with face to face until i went to purchase the tickets. i can’t even contain myself.
d. the bouncing souls – steve and i bought tickets to the souls shows this summer. they’re playing four nights in a row, but we bought for two nights. my favorite live souls album is “…my summer vacation” – it’s so much fun live, so we got tickets to that night and for the hopeless romantic/self titled night.
e. TOMS – i always wanted to buy myself a pair of these shoes, but i never knew how they fit, so i never ordered them online… (go a half-size up #FYI) so when i was in utah, i was on a hunt for them and i finally got them. even though they’re flat, they’re super comfy and never hurt my feet.  i also have small, wide feet, so they’re perfect for me. they’re very versatile style-wise, which i love. they’re not super casual looking, so i can get away wearing them out at night.
f. deep conditioning pantene for curly hair – my hair is curly, heavy, thick and unruly. i’m always on the look out for new products to try to tame this mane, and i stumbled upon this on sale at the store…  i’ve only been using it for a week, but i have noticed that my curls are tighter.  i always air-dry my hair, and it’s usually all bunched up tight on my head into clips while it’s drying.  my hair is so heavy, that if i don’t do that at the roots, my hair just gets weighed down. and all blah – like the curls will just start halfway down my head, it’s weird. and this is happening a lot more because i’m letting my hair grow out long again.
g. octopus clips – my hair breaks hair clips… not even shitting you.  i’ve broken three of my favorite clips in the last two months, and (of course) they stopped making the clips that i use…  i’ve been on the hunt for new ones. not too large/long and not too small.  ones with the rubber grips are the best. so i bought this octopus jammies, and they are awesome.  they hold my hair, and a great deal of it, without a hitch.

lol, i tried

since my coming of age around 12/13 i absorbed and turned into:

an r&b and hip-hop head, an alternative/grunge and punk lover, a beavis & butthead (and daria) addict, a tommy hil and nautica consumer, a huge advocate of handball and public nyc parks, a rocker of a black bugaboo columbia jacket, a drinker of the finest st. ides special brew and liquors around all by 14, a super nintendo gamer nerd, a misfits addict, a graphic designer, a web designer, a super-sneaker-out-of-the-houser, a great kisser, a roamer of queens in general, a bay terrace mallrat, a thief kleptomaniac, a greenwich village dweller, a make-out slut, a smoker of pot, an adopted latina, a stoop dweller, a total hard ass, a pin cushion (i’ve had like, 11 piercings), a mosher, a friend of vampires, an MTV offices regular, a raver, a lover of anything with synth in it, a mild drug user (e), a cam girl, a blogger, a saucony’s/vans girl, an awesome girlfriend to few, a frequent MTA rider, a south-bronx dweller, a ska-loving skanker, a chick magnet, a  bouncing souls show regular, a high school graduate, a video store clerk/manager, a jackass addict, an ikea addict, a tony hawk pro skater pro, an aimless whitestone stroller, a myspace fan, a graffiti lover, a sparks drinker, a roommate, a loner, a restaurant manager, a toughlover<3, a pet owner, a traveler, a glassjaw addict, a camper, a wifey, a guest list dweller, a mistress, a canvas for a few tattoo artists, a full-time website developer, someone with multi-colour hair, a brooklyn resident, a ranger fan (again<3), a tweeter, and most importantly a (self-destructively/overly loyal) good friend… etc.

which leaves me feeling like i love how all over the place i’ve been, good and bad.
i’ve also been realizing as i get older that NYC is really fucking tiny. and the older i get, the closer the social circles are linked.
(this has been proven many times in the last year…)

the bouncing souls are (or were?) touring new zealand and australia… they tweeted something about pictures earlier today, and it got me thinking about how appreciative i am that i get to see them as many times as i do in a year. and it’s just because i live here in NYC… man, i can’t imagine only seeing them once a year or especially every few years…  i’d go nuts! i go almost every show that they play in NYC for a bunch of reasons…

a) it never gets boring, they’re super fun
b) they’re getting older
c) i’m getting older
d) sweating it up and dancing in their crowd is one of my favorite things in life

glad i grew up here<3

ah yes, the souls show on monday…  it was a great one in its own right, top 5 i would say…  the set list wasn’t anything that spectacular, nothing i haven’t seen live before…  it was just different to see them playing on a boat…

since i don’t feel like describing how tiny the damn boat was… here, have a look…
#lazy

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i came home with a fat/sore lip and every muscle aching…

guess you can say it was one of the great souls shows<3 lol

story later, laying down now.

my friend amit and i have the same souls tattoo on our wrists (that’s where the lead singer greg has his<3)

i saw this picture of our tattoos together before when it cycled through my screen saver and thought to post about it.

that’s a picture of us at my birthday a couple of years ago.
isn’t he charming? lol

so i was organizing a shit ton of pictures in my iphone and then it carried over to general computer picture organization tonight, and i found these<3… these are some olddddd layouts from stujessica.net days, the short lived apt5f.com days and when posed-to-death.org first started.

i think every one of these layouts is from 2005 or prior.
all hand coded. pfffft

i was notorious for nintendo layouts back then… i should post the others someday (kung fu, underwater mario scene…)
and yes, that is a lego palm tree in the picture.

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i finally got to see sophie tonight. it is very strange, i haven’t seen her more than thrice this entire summer. it was good to reconnect. we revived our holiday cocktail lounge tradition tonight… hopefully it’ll be every other week again. good times.

good talks/laughs, got wasted by 8PM, walked around… turns out while going through the jukebox to play our traditional set that the owner in fact listened to me and sophie about the bouncing souls making a song out of the joint and he put the self-titled album in the jukebox! whaaaaaaaaat! (awesome!) i left a comment with a picture of it on their myspace about it, hope they see it<3

sorry about the lack of posts… i get blocked sometimes. life has had some twists and turns in the last two weeks that have left me feeling loopy… i’ve become disappointed, excited, annoyed, nervous, confident… all mixed up, don’t know what to do.

friday night i had an escape from it all… i went to go see the bouncing souls at webster hall (left). i went with steve and a few of his friends that i’ve been acquainted with before (on more than one occasion-they’re just more his friends than mine…). so we had some drinks, caught a buzz and went into the crowd… the set list was okay, no great songs they never play though, but i danced my little ass off and had a lot of fun. one of the better shows i’ve been to in the last two years, i must say.

on saturday afternoon, jen brought her little dog jackson over to meet oscar but oscar wasn’t havin’ it… the attempts were cute though… we made an exquisite, “adult” salad (as jen puts it, lol) and she read my tarot cards… which were kinda on the money. the reading (of course referring to my love life, lol) made me cry, and also gave me positive vibes… at night my friend matt was showcased at a gallery in williamsburg and i went down there to support/enjoy. i met up with jes and her main squeeze KA and my boy george also rolled through… we did a walk-through, chatted it up outside and got our drink on until everyone departed because of the lack of booze at the gallery… so we all went to some bar near where we were and hung out for a bit. george left and we went to hope lounge which SUCKED. the music was horrible and it was filled with vinny mozzarella’s (lol) so we went to the diner and got our eat on.

sunday was supposed to consist of: rox, missy, jen, booze, sun and girl talk… but in actuality, it wound up being: jen, jackie, drizzle, booze, and san loco instead… which turned out to be a fabulous time!<3 …my lazy ass got up way too late to make a free show to see girl talk in the hip(w)-burg (barf!) – so we wound up chillin’ instead… jen slept over and we had a temporary tattoo, bed cuddling, fun time – so all in all, a fun weekend – woo!

memorial day weekend…  who cares? just another 3 day weekend with assholes clogging up highways, places to go, etc.  – it always reminds me of my dad because i went up to boston the first memorial day weekend after i met him. (anddddddd then his psychotic girlfriend who didn’t believe i was really his beat me up!)  – blah.  things to do, things to do…

eric is in town and i wanted to steal a drink with him while he was here…  wanna try to fit that in.  i’m going to queens today – mom/erica time – sunday shonen is having his big bbq where all of my friends will be – gonna try to go to that but i’m supposed to hang out with ilya tonight ,which means i’d have to be back in brooklyn, which i wanted to do anyways – i didn’t want to sleep at my mom’s house – mannnn commuting takes up so much time – i gotta manage my time better…

blah blah blah.

so new stuff this week? i found another friend in brooklyn! i met ilya on friendster years ago…  i only met him one time in real life but we talked online for a long time and then lost touch…  so i was browsing through people on myspace (yes, i’m a loser that does that from time to time) and was looking to see if there were actually people in this “midwood” neighborhood that were around my age and found him :)  weird! it’s been like 6 or 7 years since i last talked to him…  we hung out at his apartment with his friends last night, it was fun… watched some aqua team hunger force and just chilled out til frankie called locked out of the apartment…  (cuddle blocker!)

wednesday sophie and i met up with greenwood for a holiday cocktail lounge excursion…  played the bouncing souls song titled for the bar for the guy who runs the joint, he loved it.  says he’s gonna put the self titled album in the juke box, OH yeah. (my inspiration)

tuesday lyrics boy and i attempted to see green day at webster hall, we didn’t get in.  instead, we stood outside cold and hungry for a while.  boo that. either way, NEXT.

andddddddd that’s about it.

okay it’s 3 AM, why am i still awake?  not only that, i’m awake in my bedroom at mom’s house.
i have nothing to do here.
all that’s in my room here is some laundry, a shelf with candy/2 lunchboxes and a candle, and my bed.

thank god i found the USB cord for my iphone or else i wouldn’t have aim, or a phone.  my shit was fully charged when i left brooklyn and apparently i wore it out…  it was on its last leg here when i got home from being out all day.

i’m on a laptop.
WORST.

i feel like i can’t type correctly on laptops and i feel like it just HAS to be adding to my wrists that are already going to be cursed with carpel tunnel syndrome in the future…  wa wa wa worst!

so yeah, still don’t have internet at home.  frankie says i need a wireless card in my computer.  bleh.  i don’t even know when i’m getting one.  i really just want to get it so that i can freelance and make some damn extra money…  blah.

so my first week at the apartment has gone pretty well.  still don’t know more than four people that live in brooklyn, so that’s kinda getting to me…  i feel bad that i always look to frankie for brooklyn guidance, or depending on him for social sanity.  it would be a lot easier if i had the internet to keep me preoccupied…  anyways i’ve gotten used to the commute already, just need to get more acquainted with my hood.  i know where some stores are and one train stop away there’s food and stores…  i need to find a bar we can regularly frequent so that we can make some friends…  poor oscar is still not settled with the dog…  he keeps hitting him though…  and the dog doesn’t bite at him or anything…  he’s only barked at him, hopefully it’s just the whole getting used to each other thing…

hmm.  so yeah…  the beginning of the week my friend jen who dates my friend from bayside came over to my house…  she kinda lives near me – kept me company during the day…  and then i went to go see the kills with rox.  we had a romantic asian dinner (lol) and then drinks and music.  my sexy little date…  friday laura came over and we got drunk with frankie :)  watched tv, bugged out…

today erica and i went to see her “friend” (boyfriend) box for the NYPD – they fought against the suffolk county PD
it was interesting…  something different to do.
pauly from rocky was there and the father from “family bonds” (retired HBO series) was there too.

now i’m in queens.
lonely.
in a boring room.

tomorrow for mother’s day we’re going to the mets game and just hanging out i guess…  going to see the bouncing souls at night.  (woo!)  i haven’t seen them since my bday, hopefully this set – they won’t let me down.  last time they suckkkkkkkkkked. (acoustic nonsense)

so rad.

i’m gonna try to lay down for sleepy time.

sequence #1 – so i wound up on some weird line for people about to go to jail, and one of the guards wouldn’t let me in because of my seemingly anti-semitic bloody chuck norris tattoo (tattoo’d by a jew, so no it’s NOT in fact anti-semitic, lol – it’s just the shading of his hair that makes it look like a yamika…) – i was removed forcefully from the line and don’t remember anymore about that part of the dream.  (i guess it’s a good thing NOT to go to jail though, so WOO!)

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being totally recently applicable (wahh!), i have applied bouncing souls lyrics to my life…  (again – monday morning ant brigade) and have started tallying the weekends i’ve not gotten laid.  (starting last weekend).  so let’s see how long this little experiement will go for.

it’s on the right hand side at the bottom of my sidebar.

le sigh.

i am an etsy shopper.  hardcore.  best, creative stuff ever.  so for whatever reason, i searched for “bouncing souls” and found this little bad boy.

not fancy at all, however… it is commemorating THE best (hands down) bouncing souls show i have ever been to in all of my days…  so, here’s to the memories. (ha)

and i got to thinking while i was brushing my teeth before and had “here we go” chants stuck in my head – that those chants, lights off, in a hot/sweaty crowd in a small venue is my favorite place to be.  the anticipation, the excitement…

i’m such a nerd, but apparently i’m not the only one – i found this great interview online – and here are some of my favorite little snippets from it:

“ “I’ve never met fans like Souls fans” adds Leah “’This is my first show’” was met with congratulations. Their fans are in love with them, and it’s a strong, passionate love. It’s girls and women and boys and men singing at the top of their lungs.“

Does the band know that they touch their fans this deeply? You betcha: “The mystery of why people are drawn to us is a hard question to answer for me. I can only relate to the music that I know, like ‘Oh my God that moves me,’ so I guess that’s happening to them when they see us. I have a different experience of it. We’re writing a song – we’re drawing on experiences and we’re trying to build some experience to that music. And it must be working, it must be somehow genuine because it’s working on a very personal level with everyone else, otherwise they wouldn’t be so passionate about it. So whether it’s an emotion, lyrics, the music, a combination of both those things, somehow we’re able to relate that to people.”

read the entire thing here

but honestly, i live for that.  i love the souls so much.  i am trying to enjoy them as much as possible before they’re too old to play anymore, and i’m too old to go to shows anymore…

now, i just have to get it signed.

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i’m still waiting on my tax refund, it’s been like 2 weeks – wtf.
i want it, save some/spend some.  shit wound up being hefty this year, can’t wait.

bought 4 tickets to see the bouncing souls on may 10th today – PSYCHED.
hope the show is good…  my birthday kinda let me down…

just realized that i got my gj chest tattoo a year ago…
need more ink.  stat.

it’s already friday tomorrow.  this is good.
march is approaching.  i love it.  SPRING IS ON THE WAY.
apparently it’s going to be 56 degrees tomorrow.  NICE.

st. patty’s day soon – one year ago – full of dramaaaa!  (not my fault, some girl was in LOVE with erica – and tried to steal her away – prevented me from seeing her that night…  worst.)  tried to hunt her down and instead got to sit around and watch my cousin put blow up her schnoz in a bar bathroom, yack.

rangers lost, again.  worst.
it’s only the new coach’s second day, i’ll give him another two before i start really bitching…

i just wanna go to sleep.  sorry this blog was boring – it’s how i feel… blah.
nothing exciting… full of complaints and personal let down’s…

STILL didn’t do the laundry, lol…  sunday.  DEFINITELY sunday.

wonder why you were stuck in my subconscious last night.  i’ve never even looked at you in that way, but those piercing eyes were so intense last night…  woof.  and i don’t even like blue eyes, weird…. and so hot.

when we went to the souls at cha cha’s in coney two years ago, we were all pre-gaming at this bar down the boardwalk and i was sitting with missy and steve…  it was raining that day, gloomy, chilly…  it was august i think.  anyways, i was talking to missy who was on my left and i looked down the bar towards the front of the place and bryan walks over in this ridiculously ugly, dark green poncho and was staring into the place.  i guess maybe he was looking for someone…  so after like 2/3 minutes i gave him this big dumb grin from ear to ear and he smiled back big and walked away. missy and steve laughed at me, i must have looked so dumb.

blah blah blah.

so on friday: me and sophs did the holiday cocktail lounge again, we found out the owner died two weeks ago.  sad!

the guy who’s running the place now has redone it a little, at least he’s keeping it open.  it’s cute, they’ve got wings now and he gets excited everytime someone orders them…  they were eh.  no down the hatch wings, but good enough for bar food.  so we did that and then went over to bell blvd for her friend olivia’s birthday gathering…  which i was worried about because she’s friends with people i don’t really associate with, but they wound up not going…  so it was cool.

ran into a few friends i haven’t seen in a while…  there were three of us with matching souls broken heart tattoo’s, it was cute to see them all together.  didn’t get drunk.  i don’t know how i didn’t get wasted,  i was drinking from 7PM til 3AM, but i love it.  i had a nice, long, unsloppy buzz.

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@ the picture above.

story behind it?

me, very inebriated. (double fisting, hello…) and the image in the frame was no coincidence – i mean it.
i got so drunk and was so pissed at the bouncing souls for SUCKING on my bday (sucking.) that i got emotional.  i’m sure other reasons mixed in there that we will not speak of at this time, but everyone was handling me with “kid gloves” (my term of the night) and i started crying. what a mess.

bday ’08 – aside from my mexican adventure – SUCKKKKKED.

PS – i love jesus. and especially that picture with the glow around him<3
(ANDDD he’s repping CC too, love it)

that is all, late night shower, rub one out, hit the sack.

haaaa!