i met up with jen tonight after work to have some din din at don burrtio (mexican joint near my old apt in brooklyn)… haven’t been down there since i moved out… memories<3

i can’t wait til jen and i can hang out for more than a couple of hours. my move back to queens has really thrown off our schedule of love, lol. it was nice having her stay with me at least once a week… we have a ton of fun. and she’s one of the only people that’ll watch degrassi with me

aww i miss her already

i’m doing well today, finally.
i haven’t felt this stress-free in a month. i don’t know why, not much has changed…
i guess just doing that thing where i ignore things, so they can’t hurt me is helping…
i’ve put them in the back of my little head, so i don’t have to face them.
it’s just easier this way.

“the time it takes, the time it takes to let go.”
- thursday.

i haven’t even wanted to post lately because of how i generally feel.
that sucks, because then wtf is there to read here?

we need more jess2pidity!

I’LL MAKE A COMEBACK SOON…
WITH A VENGEANCE!

as soon as i roll my little ball(s) up and toss them away.

…sophie and i are gonna go fill up her truck with some shit and go over to my apartment now! …gotta prime for painting too!

narcissism at its finest… sometimes i forget the point of this thing, i’ve just had it for so long that i feel bad not using it or having it… i can see my traffic flow around here… so i know people do actually visit and i’m not just talking to myself, lol.. sorry for the lack of updates.

i don’t want to say that things are bad, because they could DEF be worse. but everything is calmly chaotic and i’m just waiting for the tiny storm to pass.

i can’t wait to just get a place of my own at this point. hopefully something with character. hopefully somewhere back in queens… missy texted me about a studio her friend has in ridgewood. i’ve gotta call him up to go see it.

this whole living/moving situation is stressing me out, and i feel like it’s spilling out into other parts of my life. i just started dating george and because i’m so stressed out and feeling vunerable, i feel like i’m not giving 100%. i mean, i totally am into us and him<3 but i just feel like i’m in a rut and i have a little gray cloud over my head keeping me from being in tip-top jess shape. gotta snap out of it.

serenity now, serenity now.

my birthday is on saturday… i chose not to go out. instead, i’ll be hosting my very own birthday bash here at the apartment… might as well go out with a bang

laundry time.

this weekend had its ups and downs. friday was fun, went for drinks afterwork with willie dictionary, then went to dinner with christine and erica…  christine is 4 1/2 months pregnant, CUTIE! and for some reason i haven’t seen her since february, so it was good to catch up with her…  we went to cinco de mayo (shocker) and then just went back to erica’s apartment to chill out – we were just shooting the shit and i was making her and erica laugh so hard they were crying… fun times

saturday morning, my sister and mother got into a huge fight – apparently “because of me” needing a ride to go pick up my jacket from the post office…  (below, sexy. fuck yes. and yeah it’s part/fleece. and it’s not heavy and gross for this time of year at all.)

long story short – sarah had a dr’s appt and was heading out like 20/30 mins from when i woke up so i figured i had time if my mom drove me up to get it, but my sister wasn’t having it…  so i went downstairs and asked my mom if she’d take me fast and she told me to ask my sister…  so i did…

sarah got pissed off that we were asking her for the car because my mom knew “she needed the car all week”, and then my mom got pissed because she was answering me snotty. so she tried to defend me…  don’t know why, but it all escalated between the two of them because they both have bad tempers. they were screaming at each other, and my sister was dropping F-bombs left and right… so my mom told my sister to pack her shit and move out, that she couldn’t take her attitude anymore, and my sister ended up cursing AT her… i just tried to calm the both of them down and make them stop…  i told my mother to stop answering her, and she did…  and then i went upstairs to try to calm sarah down with reasoning and talking and she stopped finally…

(more…)

…here i thought with all of my nonsense stress i dwell on, that i wouldn’t have a good spring/summer.  because so much has changed since last year, i thought everything would be falling apart…  but!  i have a lot lined up with a lot of different people, and  i’m digging it.

and i realize that whoever is still around through all of this break-up bullshit (including steve), and makes an effort – really makes me happy.  it really isn’t that hard to pick up a phone and text or call.  and i have regular people reminding me of that.  so i’m going to start filtering people out again, like i did a few months ago.

feckkk you!

back to the goods – shows, mini-trips (iowa?, aruba!, pocono’s), moving out, tattoo’s, coney? (are the boardwalk places still open?), upstate sunday funday’s, mets games, warm nights where i’m not rushing home, other good peoples.

i’m such a hermit in the winter.  i can’t wait to break free.
40’s on my “stoop”, iced coffees in hand without getting frost bite, NO JACKETS, walks home from cascarino’s, TANNING!!, random park tours with sophie  …so excited.