nothing went as planned this weekend… worst! friday night i missed out on seeing my creep on saturday night i wound up going out with missy instead of sleeping over jes’s house… we went to yard bar or whatever it’s called… it used to be porky’s.

it was our friend kurt’s cousins 21st birthday so she chose that spot… hung out with ms. teena<3 drinking, dancing… the dj was playing 90’s theme songs… it was odd. had an okay time after all though… still trying to get my hands on a picture of me and some dude with his shirt tucked in/pants up to his nipples “dancing”. oh yes, one of those priceless jess photos. (i’m going straight to hell).

on sunday i went over to sophie’s to see her cousin steph’s baby<3 i haven’t seen her since she had him a few months ago… hung out with bebehhhhhhh<3 we ate some dinner, drank some sangria… just chilled out.

i did a lot of walking in the nice weather and snoozing.

very unproductive, kinda boring
…need a little spice in my life.

soph and i went to bk tonight to visit one of my friends workin one of the local w/burg bars…
…had a hot & heavy make-out sesh with a boy that has had a (mutual) crush on me for two years. RAWR!

one of my “him”’s was there… (referring to one of two ASSHOLES i “dated/hooked up with” last year – a friend of his…)

i kinda felt bad after we disappeared for like, almost ten minutes, but oh well…. you decided not to date me, and you haven’t been a friend… (i didn’t do anything on purpose, i didn’t know he was even going to be there – but w/e – i went to make moves mannnnnn, so i made ‘em.)… he left me hanging back then, and obviously never gave a shit, so what am i supposed to do?

sophie and i got rather tipsy, had fun, came home.

here i sit with beef ramen<3 (BEST) and i’m about to fall asleep.

…good times.

there’s this kid that i’m good friends with that i have a flirty thing with for like three years… we make out here and there… it always just works out that either i have a boyfriend or he has a girlfriend… (worst! …or not?)

anyways, sometimes in life we just happen to cross paths… so this one time that happened in life and we decided to take advantage of our free time – and we took some e…

it was me, him, his friend and sophie all in his basement… we’re all having a good time, shits kicking in… we’re talk talk talking it up… i look over towards the back of the room, and find two sex torture devices.

a stretching table and a pillory.

confusing to begin with, even stranger when you’re tripping your face off.

apparently his father had a midlife crisis and went all out on crazy sexy times.

end result: i totally made out on a stretching table with a really hot dude.

…trying to keep busy.
it’s not helping as much as i’d like it to, but twatever. it’s cool, life is cruel (ha!)

friday sophie and i went to get boozed up with my friend pat, we met an awesome irish bartender who loves cancun as much as i do… it was fun and relaxing! blue moons, music… a lovely dive bar experience… slept at soph’s.

saturday sophie and i bummed around all day – talking, eating, sipping coffee, listening to music… doing much of nothing. it was lovely. we went to go see my friends band play at one of our local bars… (landing project) – - – good times.

today i attempted my first public transportation trip to my apartment from my mothers house via main street – found a bus that goes straight there – pat had to meet up with me and guide me to it, i didn’t realize where it was until i realized it was the same bus i used to take to night school in the high school days… we grabbed coffee and i went on my merry little way… got to the apt, started taking down the blue tape since the paint finally fully dried, and then missy texted me that she was going to eat near her house nearby… i went to chill out with her and her man for a bit, had some johnny rockets and hot cocoa and went back to work…

i live so close to missy now, it’s rad. i used to never really go to her house unless i was getting a ride or if i was out with her and went home with her (usually tanked, lol)… i’m sure i’ll be seeing more of her and matt now, so i’m glad i have some friends on that side of queens…

so i got ALL of my painting done. touch-ups, the closet, the random purple/black that made it over the blue painters tape… yay! although those spots are now bright white from my primer so i might have to repaint that.. ugh.

so this bus ride took me an hour both ways… no very ideal, but i have no choice… at least it’s just one long ride without transfers til main street…

glad to finally be back home, i need to shower. gonna do that, and get to sleep.
i wish i had oreos right now

i haven’t even wanted to post lately because of how i generally feel.
that sucks, because then wtf is there to read here?

we need more jess2pidity!

I’LL MAKE A COMEBACK SOON…
WITH A VENGEANCE!

as soon as i roll my little ball(s) up and toss them away.

…sophie and i are gonna go fill up her truck with some shit and go over to my apartment now! …gotta prime for painting too!

kinda needed to let loose a bit.

stella’s and shots…

us gals went local… really local. like right near my house local… it brought me back to the last time i had gone there… throwing a hair fit… almost a year ago… funny how time flies and things change. …over it, but still donning your threads though… all’s fair in lust and war hee hee<3

here’s to the memories!

…actually happened tonight, oddly enough.

i dyed my bangs this milk chocolate brown colour i constantly try to describe to missy and we can never actually place… but i think it came out this colour because i dyed it over the horrible orange my hair was rocking the past week…

i’ve had a cold since sunday
today i felt better because i had a good nights sleep, but i developed a horrible cough that i guess was just clearing everything out… sounded gross but felt good.

i would be sleeping already if the damn rangers weren’t playing in another time zone, lol… i want to get a good nights sleep so i feel good tomorrow when i see renate! how fun?! now i just have to meet dr.ew and my web-to-real-life will be complete<3 lol

i miss sophie
she’s been in greece for the last two weeks, and i’ve needed her attention, support and hugs and she’s not here… worst. and while i was living in damn bayside too, dammit… i think she returns on friday. i’m going to have to steal her! i need help and guidance! things have been confusing and rough lately…

okay, need sleepy.

i finally got to see sophie tonight. it is very strange, i haven’t seen her more than thrice this entire summer. it was good to reconnect. we revived our holiday cocktail lounge tradition tonight… hopefully it’ll be every other week again. good times.

good talks/laughs, got wasted by 8PM, walked around… turns out while going through the jukebox to play our traditional set that the owner in fact listened to me and sophie about the bouncing souls making a song out of the joint and he put the self-titled album in the jukebox! whaaaaaaaaat! (awesome!) i left a comment with a picture of it on their myspace about it, hope they see it<3

i miss sophie. i haven’t seen her in like a week or some shit. wtf.

i want to move into frankie’s apartment already. (so excited.)

i want to dye half of my hair a darker shade of brown than what it is all over.

i need to do crunches and get this gut off.

i want a tan.

(debating on a few fake and bake sessions.  what? just a few…  been there, done that – shut up.)

“god only knows” by the beach boys, has been stuck in my head ALL DAY.<3

worked on virus’s at work all day.

watched it snow today. (please, no mas.)

going to sleep early, again.

more interesting posts soon, i promise.  lol.<333

…here i thought with all of my nonsense stress i dwell on, that i wouldn’t have a good spring/summer.  because so much has changed since last year, i thought everything would be falling apart…  but!  i have a lot lined up with a lot of different people, and  i’m digging it.

and i realize that whoever is still around through all of this break-up bullshit (including steve), and makes an effort – really makes me happy.  it really isn’t that hard to pick up a phone and text or call.  and i have regular people reminding me of that.  so i’m going to start filtering people out again, like i did a few months ago.

feckkk you!

back to the goods – shows, mini-trips (iowa?, aruba!, pocono’s), moving out, tattoo’s, coney? (are the boardwalk places still open?), upstate sunday funday’s, mets games, warm nights where i’m not rushing home, other good peoples.

i’m such a hermit in the winter.  i can’t wait to break free.
40’s on my “stoop”, iced coffees in hand without getting frost bite, NO JACKETS, walks home from cascarino’s, TANNING!!, random park tours with sophie  …so excited.

holiday cocktail lounge on friday was fast and furious, since we needed to be somewhere else later on…  we get there so early and get sloshed by like 8PM – it’s the worst.  so we decided since sophie had her work key, we’d go to her office to nap…

…little did we realize the elevator was locked as well as the staircase doors to get onto the floors…  worst.  so we hung out in the staircase for a few and then decided to move ourselves to a local bar for a $10 pitcher of bud light before the events of the evening started…

decided i wasn’t going to bother with the male species at all, until some suit that worked for AMEX wound up chatting with us…  someone put suicide machines on the jukebox at the bar and all three of us were like ???  whoa!  and YES! and he was impressed i knew who they were – me and soph were like, this is our scene…

(more…)

so i have this thing where if traumatic things happen, my brain associates whatever it is with whatever my surroundings are…

strawberries, vodka, hawaiian punch, b&b works pear berry scented and cherry blossom scented items, etc.  just a few things that have been ruined for the rest of my days…

not necessarily just being sick, other stuff too.

at any rate.  my best friend is deathly afraid of birds for whatever reason and i make fun of her.  so she makes fun of me for being scared of clowns.  so the convo snowballed into some weird shit about how she’d never shag a guy in a bird suit…  and i said i’d never have sex with a guy dressed up as a clown.  not even for like a million dollars, because!:

1. that’s scary as all hell
and 2. because i’d never be able to have sex again.

i’m pretty sure my brain would associate scary clowns and sex forever, and i’d be ruined.

wonder why you were stuck in my subconscious last night.  i’ve never even looked at you in that way, but those piercing eyes were so intense last night…  woof.  and i don’t even like blue eyes, weird…. and so hot.

when we went to the souls at cha cha’s in coney two years ago, we were all pre-gaming at this bar down the boardwalk and i was sitting with missy and steve…  it was raining that day, gloomy, chilly…  it was august i think.  anyways, i was talking to missy who was on my left and i looked down the bar towards the front of the place and bryan walks over in this ridiculously ugly, dark green poncho and was staring into the place.  i guess maybe he was looking for someone…  so after like 2/3 minutes i gave him this big dumb grin from ear to ear and he smiled back big and walked away. missy and steve laughed at me, i must have looked so dumb.

blah blah blah.

so on friday: me and sophs did the holiday cocktail lounge again, we found out the owner died two weeks ago.  sad!

the guy who’s running the place now has redone it a little, at least he’s keeping it open.  it’s cute, they’ve got wings now and he gets excited everytime someone orders them…  they were eh.  no down the hatch wings, but good enough for bar food.  so we did that and then went over to bell blvd for her friend olivia’s birthday gathering…  which i was worried about because she’s friends with people i don’t really associate with, but they wound up not going…  so it was cool.

ran into a few friends i haven’t seen in a while…  there were three of us with matching souls broken heart tattoo’s, it was cute to see them all together.  didn’t get drunk.  i don’t know how i didn’t get wasted,  i was drinking from 7PM til 3AM, but i love it.  i had a nice, long, unsloppy buzz.

(more…)

foot in mouth syndrome

i get iced coffee everyday from the starbucks across the street from my job, sometimes twice. so they know what i get all the time. i always get skim milk in my coffee, but they still ask me if i want whipped cream sometimes… this one morning when i was half asleep, my homie there asked me if i wanted it on my coffee. and i usually don’t get it in the mornings, more of an afternoon treat… so with my half awake ass, i tell her: “i only like getting whipped in the afternoon”.

lol, she looked at me like whaaaaaaaaaat!!! lol

one time during christmas vacation, sophie and i were at victoria’s secret. it was late at night – closing time – and we were on line to pay with the doors locked and all… so there was this big sexy chocolate (lol) security dude standing next to us and the registers, keeping everything in check when i start rambling off to sophie about online body jewelry shopping.  i was going on about how i was looking for new plain/solid colour tongue rings and i blurted out loud without thinking “ughh but i really wanted some black balls on my tongue”. and his eyes got huge, he covered his face, and giggled, lol.

secret, private section of the LIRR.
ROMANTIC!

tonight was odd,  yet fun.  me and soph went to go support/watch yak ballz (& nick hook) @ some pub in midtown…   met up with my buddy frankie…  strangest show ever.  or combination of performers, rather…   le yak has got some great stage presence…  had a good time.

i didn’t take any pictures, but frankie did.
frankie is still out, so i have nothing to share with this online world of mine….

i’m just baffled… seriously?…
don’t fucking text me or call me to hang out IF YOU’RE NOT GOING TO FUCKING PICK UP THE PHONE.  i don’t get it.  why bother even contacting me?  yo, just leave me the fuck alone then.  move along…  it’s a must, let’s call the whole thing OFF.

oh yeah, and fuck straight hair.  it’s SO fucking BORING.
until shit is down to my waist again, curly it is!
and i’m gonna punch that bitch from supercuts in the face if i ever see her again for cutting layers into my hair in the front. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

so last night was holiday cocktail lounge night with sophie (and greenwood) and when sophie and i were finally going home, i found this guy behind me.  i thought the way he was sleeping was HILARIOUS when i was drunk…  i didn’t even see him when i sat down, so it was a funny find!

i still find it strange/creepy looking now though…  you can’t tell very well in this photo, but it looked like his head was going to fall off of his body.  it was hanging back so far.

okay i think this is one of the last times i’m going to post about shea, sorry if it bores you guys.  i’ll clip the post so you have to venture in to see the rest…  i put a few of my favorite shots from over the past few years.  but here’s the latest pic i took from the 7 train…

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so this sucks…  (click the link below to read what i mean)
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! say it aint so!!!

i stood outside waiting for about 15 mins waiting for soph to swing through, and no one ever showed up to open up shop.

we started going because the bouncing souls wrote a song about the joint.  but that romantic tribute faded fast, it just became our spot with oldies and born to run, HOOKED UP DRINKS, getting drunk for like $20 by 9 PM on fridays, romantic arm around sophs on the electrical taped up seats and christmas lights…

i hope the angry old man is okay.<3
i think he hated me.  i appreciated every strong drink he poured me.
especially the amstel on ice, lol.

guess only time will tell.

…2008…

the only thing i really dislike about this year was part of the summer and my birthday.
and that which followed from my actions on my birthday. (sorry homie, i love you.)
oct/nov were kind of hard but i bounced back in decemeber.

best?
my new job $$$, my new tattoos, making new friends, going to mexico with m5, all the shows i went to,
me and m5 hanging out all the time, dunkin donuts was built on my corner (lol), intoxicated nights, the last of the mets games at shea, holiday cocktail lounge… tons of other stuff<3

my goals for 2009?
moving out, having fun, learning more for/through work and filtering out useless people and things.
and getting rid of the red base my hair has had to endure in 2008.