a) anna james’s “verona“.
(described as inspired by juliet’s house in verona, italy – where people have written all over the walls… click! &&& click!) – as much as i’ve read it’s “graffiti” i’m sure that’s not really how anna meant it, plus – pfft, really? now throw a fafinette, some neckface joints, matt siren-ness and some j-hearts on that shit, and i’d be diggy diggy dowwwwwwwwn to spend some dough on that graff armoire… (holy what a hot-collabo that would be, batman!) #diyitup?

oh, and if it isn’t clear, that’s a mirror in the middle…

b) anna james’s “undercover“.
well now, i can’t think of a better, obvious indication on what i’d like to be going down – nahhh meaaaaaaan?
go team, go!
#need #diystencilthatshit

c) j1studio’s “t-shelf“.
i love anything that could resemble stairs of some sort that oscar could climb, and i’d love to set something up like that for him someday, so this totally strikes my fancy… funny enough, a few clicks in – there’s a cat on a shelf! (good thinkin’ jess!)

we never did anything for whatever reason…

go fucking figure.

#wtfwasithinking
#justmyluck
#wompwomp

mom: oh i saw the tucci brothers, god are they gorgeous. what are their names again?
me: mike and billy
mom: oh yeah, that’s right. which is the one you used to hang out with?
me: mike
mom: oh, right.
me: did billy still look on the crazy side?
my sister: they both kind of looked the same, with long hair
mom: that mike… (saying something along the lines of “if i were twenty years younger i’d”…)
me: (with puzzled look) jesus, ma!!
mom: (laughing) what?? he’s cute…
me: oh, i know. and i hope you know that i hit that… so, ha.
mom: :gags:
my sister: :gags:

lol

really?

“nobody ever knows anybody else, ever… you will never know me. ”
- lauren/bret easton ellis (the rules of attraction)

so i realize i do a lot of complaining here…  it’s my website, i’m allowed to.  and apparently you still read it (so, yay! lol) but seriously…  no one (or a very small percentage) of people that read this website know why me and steve broke up and i’m not going to say why.  but it wasn’t anything easy.  and trying to feel normal in life again is hard…  dating, hanging out with people, friends…  nobody is real.  and it REALLY bothers me.

i’m 27 years old and have always just dated people.  i’ve always been in a relationship.  whatever, i don’t regret it, i’m just saying, so you know…  and i’ve never believed any bullshit boys threw at me, and never thought it’d happen this late in the game…  well apparently i was wrong… (or am i? no idea.  never will know.)

someone i thought i was friends with duped me into a feeling.  i wasn’t even into him in that way until the point where it ended.  when i wanted to have sex with him, that’s all that i had wanted…  (god, what a floozy, huh? – oh, shut up, i’m only human…) why couldn’t he just not say those things…  those “i really like you” and “i’m getting really comfortable with you” things…  we knew what we wanted, he didn’t have to sweet talk me into it or for more…  so why did he have to go and complicate it?  was this some sort of a game?  i didn’t know what the point of it was anymore.  and then it dissipated, and that’s fine.  but when you get shady and then the reasons he gave me don’t apply to what is in fact going on right now, that infuriates me.

hedidn’t have to play me…  i’m not just any girl, we were friends for quite a while…  (or so i thought?…)  and when i outright ask a question or try to communicate clearly on things, it’s to prevent things from being weird in the future…  (really wasn’t that serious) but apparently that was too much to ask.  (thanks so much for going back with your ex-girlfriend, and then have it in my face. made me feel great. hope it works out whatever number time around this is.)

i’m not saying i’m an angel – nowhere close to…  but i do try my hardest to be a good person most of the time to people i consider friends…  i realize everyone makes mistakes, it’s part of this crazy life that we only get one of…  but i try my hardest to be nice to people, help people out, be resourceful and dependable and it leaves me being a doormat a lot of the time.  (usually not by boys.  and this year two already messed with my head. it’s nuts.)  …well, i’m sick of it.

i don’t know how to trust people anymore.  you never know people.  it’s scary.  i hate it.

i know moving to brooklyn isn’t going to solve my problems, or make memories disappear…  (hopefully it’ll help.) but i really just needed a reset button because walking around my ‘hood is killing me…  everything reminds me of people and i can’t take it anymore…

holiday cocktail lounge was fun on friday!  hung out with greenwood and sophs<3  went to his apartment on st. mark’s – so cute!  it’s lovely!

i could have got laid on friday by someone i’ve been longing to make sweet love to for a longggggggggg long time.  almost two years, lol, worst!  but alas, a new tally added to the “weekends i didn’t get laid”…  tally.  lol.  stupid mother nature got in the way, AGAIN.  this is the second time she’s put a stop to us.  i’m starting to think maybe we’re not fated to do the hibbidy dibbidy.

whatevz.

rangers lost on saturday – shocker.
i was supposed to go out on saturday night, i laid down for a “nap” and it turned into 13 hours instead…  i think i really needed it…  i cuddled up with that new log pillow i bought last week.  it’s so cute, i’m in love with it.  i wish it were a little firmer, but it’s the cutest thing i ever saw!

today i went to go look at what i thought was going to be an apartment with erica’s sister, but it turned out to be condos that aren’t even built up yet…  they just had some models to show us, which were kinda tiny – but very nice.  so they’re not gonna be built out for another 2/3 years anyways so i guess that’s out of the question.  so either i’m moving into their place they have already, or looking into a place of my own…

i waxed my brows today, feeling like a million bucks thanks to my homegirl lisa…  best!  -  then i went to the mall with erica because she and i, and her cousin sabrina all ordered matching rosary rings.  sabrina is making her confirmation next month, so that’s her gift from erica…  i just really wanted one :)  we’re such good little catholic girls, lol.

OHHHHHHHHHHHH and speaking of catholicism, erica and i drank redbull today!!!

i googled about the lent/”cheat day” thing, but they don’t count sunday’s!  apparently: “sundays are not part of the penitential season, so you do not have to practice signs of penitence on these days.”  – WOOO!!  so we’re allowed to have it on sunday’s and it’s not even cheating!!!  i had a little one and then a big one later in the day, so joyous.

what else did i do?  oh yes, i wasted money on frivolous things!… i bought a new white, short jacket (like i needed ANOTHER jacket!…), that new mac eyeshadow – aquavert – from the cupcake collection or whatever…  some bath and body works junk since i had a gift card from xmas i still hadn’t used…  and a new, dark purple, velvet coin purse… zZz boring, i know.

okay, sleep time.
work in the morning!

no really – he is a fat, spoiled, moody, mushy, perverted, gray, bully.
and i have no idea why…

he started off adorable, playful.  i don’t know what happened.  i brought him home from andrews house after we had broken up…  i got him neutered and declawed and it was all downhill from there.  i didn’t realize that declawing cats altered their moods, or else i would have never done it.  still, i don’t know if that’s the reasoning in this case.

seriously, is life THAT bad where you have to walk around with this puss on all day???  lol!  ->

so this is oscar’s deal.

oscar isn’t allowed to sleep with me in my room anymore, he puked on my comforter in the dead of winter once in the middle of the night and i froze my ass off because of it.  okay, so sometimes i let him stay…  but  i don’t DO puke clean-up’s in the middle of the night, no thanks.  and his damn hair is everywhere otherwise and it’s annoying…  on the comforter, making cat fur tumbleweeds on my wood floor, etc.  anyways.  so since i don’t let him sleep with me in my room, every morning, i wake up and he’s crying at the door…  NOT to see me.  NOOOOOOOOOOOO…  he runs in and starts crying and humping his little fuzzy pink bed.

he meows and goes back and forth, switches sides, bites the side…  i mean at first i thought it was funny, now it’s just creepy.  and he really does do it for pleasure.  his leg muscle action is insane.

this goes on for a few minutes, and then he looks out the window.

it’s seriously like clockwork.

then i tell him to go outside and he listens…

when i get home at night, he does the same thing as in the morning, dying to get in.  if we don’t let him in, he starts acting out.  he attacks the other cats…  no one can go near him without getting slapped on their heads or their fur pulled out by his vicious cat teeth…  if he doesn’t get his fuzzy pink bed, cat gets cranky.

he tries to act all tough, act like he doesn’t like anyone…  but he’s a mush…  rubbing his head all over me, purring, sitting on my keyboard while i’m trying to work, aww i love him<3  such a brat.

i originally named him after the baby from ghostbusters 2, but later i realized that oscar the grouch just fit him better.

creeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!

PS – awwwwwwwwwwwwwww click here<333

it’s on the right hand side at the bottom of my sidebar.

le sigh.

strawberries, vodka, hawaiian punch, b&b works pear berry scented and cherry blossom scented items, etc.  just a few things that have been ruined for the rest of my days…

not necessarily just being sick, other stuff too.

at any rate.  my best friend is deathly afraid of birds for whatever reason and i make fun of her.  so she makes fun of me for being scared of clowns.  so the convo snowballed into some weird shit about how she’d never shag a guy in a bird suit…  and i said i’d never have sex with a guy dressed up as a clown.  not even for like a million dollars, because!:

1. that’s scary as all hell
and 2. because i’d never be able to have sex again.

i’m pretty sure my brain would associate scary clowns and sex forever, and i’d be ruined.