i woke up last morning to what sounded like someone trying to punch in my window.  of course, it being about 6:30AM and coming out of a deep sleep, i had no idea wtf was going on.  i thought my apartment was being broken into.  i couldn’t find the cat until i heard the dreaded sound again.  and then i saw his fat body on the other side of the blinds standing up and hitting the window.

he and a stray cat have become mortal enemies and have battles through the window.

yes, they actually physically go at each other on the glass.

assholes…

i couldn’t fall back to sleep for a good hour after that

like, how hard did the outside cat come at oscar that he woke me up? i hope he’s okay because it was loud, lol.

last night i didn’t get home from work until nearly 9 pm… so once i got to freelancing, eating dinner and watching tv and relaxing, i didn’t realize how much later it was since i was in two hours later than usual… i didn’t get to sleep until almost 3 am (i just couldn’t) and i woke up at 6 am with the cat puking up a hairball… and that little turd did it on the edge of my bed and blanket. just enough to piss me off… but he was at the edge of the bed! he knows i want him doing that on the tile floor, wtf? (dont’ try to tell me otherwise, cats know what they’re doing…)

anyways, i had to clean it all up, and after scolding him the entire time, i couldn’t fall asleep for nearly an hour. …and i had to be up at 8:15.

i look like “who did it and ran”, and i keep yawning
this coffee isn’t helpingggg o_o

so right before my cat is about to shit, for some odd reason he runs around the apartment at like, 500 mph in circles…  he jumps all over the place without paying attention and is a little wild man.  keeping that in mind, he did it last night right before i went to bed. and it must have stayed in my subconscious…

in my dream last night (the only part that i really remember), i was in my aunt/uncles old apartment upstate and their toilet bowl flush was super powerful…  stupid oscar comes flying into the bathroom and as i’m flushing the toilet after using it, guess who jumped in? …and got sucked in

yeah… in my dream i saw my poor little kitty stuck in a toilet. mainly i just saw his little arms sticking out and i pulled him out… and on the first pull, he was stuck at his ribs.  it was the worst feeling ever, because it felt super real, and i felt like i was hurting him.

i got him out easily after the next pull and just hugged him, and told him to slow the eff down.

it was horrible to see him like that

Y U NO DO THIS???

my cat is a spoiled, lazy fuck.

i got oscar in 2005…  and since i’ve had him, he’s only farted around me one time.  i picked him up in a weird way and he wasn’t ready for it, and  one slipped out.

he has done a good job of not letting another one slip…
until just now.

he just pooted when i went to go hug him on my bed.  i put my arm around him for a hug while he was sitting up a little, and totally smelled it and he got all embarrassed and pissed off.  he immediately jumped off the bed and is staring at me with the death stare.

so i’ve kind of been social lately and really feeling run-down… not getting proper sleep and being inebriated often, so on wednesday (after i decided to straighten my hair at 9PM), i got super tired watching judge judy and passed out at like 10:30… i knew i still had to iron my hair so i set my alarm clock from 8:30 AM to 8 AM so that i gave myself time thursday morning to perfect my mane…

so of course, my burnt ass completely forgot to set it back and my alarm went off at 8AM this morning… and i got super happy because i had an extra thirty minutes to sleep… i went looking for kitten for a cuddlefest as soon as i woke up, but of course he was sitting in front of his dry food dish staring at it (like it was going to magically fill itself? OR he was trying to give me a guilt trip – as if i starve his fat, gray ass…)

so finally, he comes back to the bed… as i’m trying my hardest to stay in my “hey-i-could-still-fall-asleep-mode”, i’m getting all cozy and waiting for him to curl up with me near my chest… and he just stands there staring at me, purring.

just standing, and staring.

so i ask him to sit down – and he KNOWS what it means… and he goes in circles and stand there some more, then finally sits down after a good ten minutes of me battling with him about it… then after enough time for me to finally get cozy with him (leaving me with about ten minutes left of napping), he just gets up and walks back to the dry food dish…

and then as i’m leaving to go to work gives me the sad eyes like i’m abandoning him…

he’s such an asshole.

sooooooooooo when i moved to ridgewood, i didn’t bring one of my favorite things in the entire world with me… i’m not even entirely sure why, because i had opportunities with sophie’s array of large cars to bring it over… but for whatever reason, i had left it at my mothers house. and it was the worst decision, ever.

about six years ago, i was strolling through the warehouse part of ikea and came across what seemed like hundreds of piled up, chunky plastic chairs. my best friend sophie had one and i always thought it was cute, and at that time they were carrying hot pink ones… so i grabbed one at the amazing price of…………… $5! (#best) and it was seriously one of my favorite things about my bedroom decor.

when i moved out of my moms house this last time, my younger sister ended up taking my old room because it was larger than hers was. and that’s where i had left my precious chair.

one weekend, we were painting her new room from my dreary dark gray to a lovely shade of dark purple. and she thought it would be a genius idea to stand on my chair to paint an area that was higher than she could reach…

not so genius.

she went right through the damn chair with one of her legs.

(more…)

i need a bigger apt. i want a 1 bedroom instead of a studio… almost a year has been quite enough to realize this. as soon as i do gtfo – i’m getting myself a small dog. my cat hates me… it’d be therapeutic to have a furry little companion that loves me more than 40% of the time.

when i’m showering or bathing, oscar sits in the bathroom with me.  usually on top of the closed toilet cover…  and then when i’m finished taking  a shower or a bath, oscar loves going into the tub. he just sits there for a while…   i think until the air isn’t warm any longer…  he sits and stares at the drain or he sits and watches the water dripping.  it’s really cute – he tilts his head while he does either, as if he’s trying to figure it all out.

i guess it’s his “deep time”, lol.

why does the cat always pooh right after i clean out the box?

what an a-hole -____-

dear oscar, coming home to cat vomit on my bed is NOT COOL, punk.

going to put the gross sheets into a washing machine full of almost dry clothing neighbor left in, almost as uncool.

i need a beach, stat.

i was about to jump in the shower when i noticed that oscar was throwing up on the kitchen counter… i was about to get pissed, until i noticed that he was doing it on paper towels.

clean up was a snap!

good boy.

this is my little papa doing a trick i taught him!
most of the time he stands up high in place, sometimes (like in the video) he tends to lean towards me so he doesn’t fall down… either way, it only took him 2/3 times to learn this trick. so smart he is<3

ignore my annoying voice :x

haha click here for oscars other entertaining trick :barf:

last night i fell asleep mid-2nd episode of judge judy – WORST!
it was just so warm, i was just so comfortable. there was no fighting the magnetism my bed held for me.
so i gave into it, i fell asleep so good. at 10:30PM.

…and then i woke up at 3AM.
(which is why i don’t ever sleep before midnight…)

wayyyyyyyyyy earlier than i had to be up, and i could have slept another few hours. oscar cuddled with me for a bit, then went off on his annoying little merry way – which included (as with everyday – his new thing) of shoving his fat gray body through my metal window blinds.

(more…)

i guarantee you when i close the door behind me everyday, oscar does this.

either always, or sometimes some of these things happen.

a) i’m woken up by the cat scraping in his litter box
b) i wake up either 1 min, 10 mins or 45 mins before i actually have to wake up (and each of them REALLY kills me.)
c) i stretch hard enough that i get a charlie horse
d) i hear daryl palumbo singing “desperation is calling you, desperation is callingggggggggg youuuuuu…”
e) i wake up thinking: “someday i’m not going to wake up, i’ll be dead and never feel waking up again.”
(wtf? morbid much?)
f) i’m nauseous
g) the cat is laying on my neck, trying to kill me

this is my ragetoon!

i was on a boat and it took us to another country. no idea which country, and it didn’t take long to get there. i saw my cousin marie and a few other people that i knew, but no one was really sticking together. i was there for a few hours or so it seemed, don’t really remember what i was doing… i remember in the end i was on a beach and everyone i looked at started coming towards me slowly. no one got too close, but i could see that they were zombies. i gathered everyone i knew and we all started to climb chain fences, but everyone kept on separating. i remember i kept hearing people scream the name “jessica” and i kept looking around but it was coming from every angle and everyone looked like zombies who couldn’t speak… i heard someone say to go to this red carpet. i wondered why there was a red carpet on the sand, but i went to it and it led into some chained link box area where zombies couldn’t get in. there was a boat there that tooks us away, and when we got back to the states, i realized that oscar was still wherever i came from. i felt such heartbreak in the dream because i thought i’d never see my little pussycat again

(second zombie dream in the last month!)

okay so when i kill bugs, sometimes i feel bad. and only because i always think of ryan weir, telling me that every living thing is a living thing. (he never killed bugs). but if i see one of these fuckers (above), they’re getting slaughtered… the mere thought of 9739082 legs crawling across me SICKENS ME. (haha, i made the picture above to try to make them look cute… hopefully to remind myself not to kill them, because apparently they eat other bugs… but no no no, i can’t)

this is the second time i found one in my new place. well, in the bedroom of my new place. who knows if they’re out in the rest of the apartment or not, lol. but either way, the damn things haven’t been babies. they’ve been BIG and GROSS. and apparently, not loners… like i’ve read, and as i’ve been told.

so i was minding my business, falling asleep with oscar the other night… when i feel him jump up. i was confused, put on the light and the huge monster centipede was crawling up my wall. eeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwww! first thing i do, text frankie. i had to kill the last one, i want a man to kill this one. so i text him to come downstairs to my room with “heeeeelllllllllllpp me” and “ewwwwwwwww”. and nothing. wtf? what if i was being murdered? lol. well, i guess i wouldn’t be texting, but still.

so as i’m waiting for some type of response from frank, i open the door and pace back and forth for about five minutes. his dog comes in and looks at me like i’m nuts because i’m freaking out (yes, i know it’s just a bug but EEWWWWW!) so i got the lysol cleaning spray, a flip flop and a piece of paper towel for the corpse… and stared at the damn thing on my wall for a good five to ten minutes before actually slaughtering it.

i stared, i asked oscar to eat it, i asked buddy (the dog) to get frank, lol… kept getting chills and being grossed out and finally got the balls to spray/demolish this thing. it fell to the ground and started running. i thought the cleaner would paralyze it, apparently not. so it went under my baseboard heater, i said eff that. threw the flip flop under it and moved it til it came back out. i wouldn’t have been able to sleep otherwise. so it did, and i smashed it. sorry fella.

i couldn’t sleep for a good hour because i was awaiting another ritual killing. worst.

7 AM - bother jess (walking all over her during sleep, meowing)
7:30 AM - keep bothering jess (still walking all over her during sleep, meowing)
8 AM - wake jess up (loud, persistent meowing)
8:30 AM - beg jess for food (crying/meowing)
9 AM-7 PM - sleep
7:30 PM - love jess
7:35 PM - hate jess
8 PM - beg jess for food (crying)
8:30 PM-10:30 PM - bathe
11 PM-7 AM - sleep, various snacking throughout the night

let’s chat about my cat for a minute…  my! does he ever have a little personality about him…  (he’s an asshole…)

no really – he is a fat, spoiled, moody, mushy, perverted, gray, bully.
and i have no idea why…

he started off adorable, playful.  i don’t know what happened.  i brought him home from andrews house after we had broken up…  i got him neutered and declawed and it was all downhill from there.  i didn’t realize that declawing cats altered their moods, or else i would have never done it.  still, i don’t know if that’s the reasoning in this case.

seriously, is life THAT bad where you have to walk around with this puss on all day???  lol!  ->

so this is oscar’s deal.

(more…)

i just got back from erica’s a little while ago, decided i need to clean my room…  i caught a second wind from falling asleep in her bed for a while before…  i seriously need to start throwing more shit out and start packing up.

today me and erica were talking about me moving in, seriously for once…  she wants her cousin out – it’s our ongoing joke that it’s my bedroom because i was supposed to move into her 3rd bedroom in the house over a year ago and couldn’t because i wasn’t making enough money…  now it may finally become mine and an issue is brought up – she says there’s a no pet rule, anddd she’s allergic anyways.  and i’m definitely taking oscar wherever i go, he’s my kid.  so there goes that idea?  :(  ugh – it’s one damn block off of bell blvd. – SOOOOO convenient!!

i got an apartment offer from someone i know in a newly renovated basement for $875 a month/utilities included for a 1 bedroom in whitestone.  which is cool because i would LOVE to live in whitestone again…  BUT – it’s not near a train.  not even the LIRR…  which leaves me with the same issue as i have now with my LONG ass commute everyday…  but i do love and miss my old ‘hood – i grew up there…  and i kinda think living without roommates might be good for me.  and it’s right by sophie’s, and everyone else i know – so maybe that’d be better for me…  i don’t wanna move somewhere and be alone…  it’s hard enough dealing with being alone and i’m still here.

enough complaining!

so i dyed my bangs, again.  purple/red (see photo above, duh).  i want a darker purple and i kind of hate the red…  i dont normally wear anything red – and it doesn’t match with most colours i wear on a daily, so i’m thinking about hitting up M5 for a quick bleach/dye job tomorrow…  maybe not.  maybe i’ll do it myself.

what else is new?

…i got this super cool tote bag from a company in my office building at work the other day!!

i always see some chick walking around with it and i thought it was the best thing i’d ever seen.  sooooo funny!  so i looked on their website to see if they sold them or something and they didn’t…  but! …i had bumped into one of their employee’s in the hall and asked about it, and i think she said they were for employee’s only or something.  she didn’t speak loudly enough and we parted ways…  SO – i emailed them and told them i worked down the hall and a week later, it was in an envelope with my name on it at the front door of our office.

i feel special having one.
it made my day getting it.  it felt like christmas, lol.

oh the little things that make me happy in life…

and lastly……….

…seriously debating on this iphone purchase/switch this weekend.  i honestly hate typing on the damn thing.  it’s the one thing that’s stopping me.  i’d miss my little cell phone keyboard…  well, i’ll be deciding by tomorrow afternoon i suppose.

he was laying with me for an hour like this the other day.  i love it when he acts like a lovie dovie.