charlie and i just signed onto friendster for the first time in like, almost a decade, lol…
quite entertaining things were going on in there.

in my inbox:
a) some dude who said he “noticed that i like grunge”
b) toxic avenger had a suggested lover for me to check out
c) rick casualty (yes, of the casualties) – going back and forth about meeting up at a show.
d) ilya and i (along with his comments to me) when i had a huge crush on him back in ‘03, going back and forth like strung out idiots not making any type of sense
e) ilya’s friends and i talking, i didn’t know them then but i did this summer
f) me and charlie’s friendship beginnings<3
g) a message to george (wearing a medical face mask in his user pic, shocker.) about piercing my nipples (circa '03)
h) random people messaging me about a vibrator in my picture (shocker)

oh friendster, how entertaining you were for the last hour – thanks.

• pack up my life
• save up $1400 $1100 within 4 weeks
• get shit back to moms (temporarily)
• get new shoe holder
• hear back from mike about place in ridgewood
• throw more shit out!
• buy some towels
• pick up pink wardrobe from andrews upon apartment confirmation

i can’t believe i have to uproot myself again. at least i’m going back to queens. sure, there may be other parts of brooklyn i could be happier in, but it really doesn’t matter… queens is where my family and friends are. and i’m glad i’m going back. not back to the burbs, but close enough to everyone that matters.

if anything, brooklyn heights will someday sway me back. otherwise…

bk isolation – over and out.<3

thanks jen & ilya for making my brooklyn experience so much fun<333

so i feel like “that’s it”… i have no idea. but then i think, i deserve to not even feel like “i have no idea”. you know? what are we, twelve? i mean, take the reigns or whatever the opposite of that is (i’m too scared to even mutter the words?) i mean, i’m not even sure it’s what i want anyways, so why do i feel like this?

does everyone deserve what they desire?
everyone seems to think so, i’m not so sure.

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so i don’t know why, but when i was blow drying my bangs tonight i thought about those survey things like “where will you be in five years”… and thought “wait, where was i five years ago?”… unfortunately, nothing exciting.

on that note, here’s a boring gem from 2004. lol.

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i woke up to a text from my babe rox who wanted to chill out at coney (holy fuck she makes me feel pale, lol… look at my legs! i need a tan!) – the siren music fest was going on, so we were gonna hit that up. i heard a lot about it all week but i didn’t know what type of music it was or anything so i checked out their website. this year i only knew two bands from the line-up. i checked out the other years and there are some GOOD bands on the past events. cursive played in 2007! aaaaaaaaaaaand i wasn’t there, boo that.

so i’m on my way to her… on the Q train, sitting in the two seaters at the end of the car, sippin’ on my huge iced coffee, texting away, minding my business… when this dude feels the need to come next to me and undo his belt/pants and tuck in his wife beater and redo his belt. ew. as if that wasn’t horrid enough to have to witness, he starts doing a train car workout.

could i even make this shit up? (pics after the jump)
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yeah so the fourth of july (yawn)… i went to coney to chill out with ilya and his friends, met up with my lovie pie jewels @ her cool booth in the coney outdoor market… (don’t know if it’s got a specific name or not) – was supposed to meet up with miss kay too, but plans got all messed up with her friends so she didn’t come down (she’s from upstate, ny). i bought two cool bracelets from jewels, and my favorite new shirt – it reads QUEENS silk screened in white/red varsity letters on a black youth medium – simple, yet oh-so perfect… met her sister and mom, hung out for a bit. checked out the locals. (what a bunch of fascinating weirdo’s, lol).

coney was way too packed so once ilya found me we headed over to brighton beach with his friends, i FINALLY got some sun… we got the BEST frozen smoothie things and just chilled out for a bit. laughed a lot, watched almost naked russians prowl the beach, good times… ilya had to take care of his dog so we left and then we wound up at his friends for a BBQ… no fireworks except for the ones we made… (giggity!) lol…

god bless america!

well alrighty! so i’m sure i’m going to get yelled at for putting up this picture, because it’s so not flattering, but it’s adorable. i’m glad it was captured… that was a fun ilya, jess and jen moment in time…

i haven’t really openly spoken about anyone i’ve dated on this website for various reasons… (dramarama!) but this one seems to be different… easier…

i don’t know where this is headed, this whole dating thing has been quite confusing over the last six months. the two idiots i dated/hooked up with earlier in the year fucked me up… one was (what i thought was) a good friend and the other one i can’t even begin to form a label for… :\

“trust is something that comes easy, when you’ve never been a victim” – face to face

haha, deep. but honestly, truth.

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friday night consisted offffffff:
my darling jennifer, frankie and a few of his friends, and ilya hangin’ out at our apartment… made some super tasty red wine sangria with the lovely taylor mmm… cut a flap off of the tip of one my friggin’ fingers, eep. got inebriated and cuddled with my lovies…

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memorial day weekend…  who cares? just another 3 day weekend with assholes clogging up highways, places to go, etc.  – it always reminds me of my dad because i went up to boston the first memorial day weekend after i met him. (anddddddd then his psychotic girlfriend who didn’t believe i was really his beat me up!)  – blah.  things to do, things to do…

eric is in town and i wanted to steal a drink with him while he was here…  wanna try to fit that in.  i’m going to queens today – mom/erica time – sunday shonen is having his big bbq where all of my friends will be – gonna try to go to that but i’m supposed to hang out with ilya tonight ,which means i’d have to be back in brooklyn, which i wanted to do anyways – i didn’t want to sleep at my mom’s house – mannnn commuting takes up so much time – i gotta manage my time better…

blah blah blah.

so new stuff this week? i found another friend in brooklyn! i met ilya on friendster years ago…  i only met him one time in real life but we talked online for a long time and then lost touch…  so i was browsing through people on myspace (yes, i’m a loser that does that from time to time) and was looking to see if there were actually people in this “midwood” neighborhood that were around my age and found him :)  weird! it’s been like 6 or 7 years since i last talked to him…  we hung out at his apartment with his friends last night, it was fun… watched some aqua team hunger force and just chilled out til frankie called locked out of the apartment…  (cuddle blocker!)

wednesday sophie and i met up with greenwood for a holiday cocktail lounge excursion…  played the bouncing souls song titled for the bar for the guy who runs the joint, he loved it.  says he’s gonna put the self titled album in the juke box, OH yeah. (my inspiration)

tuesday lyrics boy and i attempted to see green day at webster hall, we didn’t get in.  instead, we stood outside cold and hungry for a while.  boo that. either way, NEXT.

andddddddd that’s about it.