i took him to holiday cocktail lounge, and he was glad that i chose that spot… he said he’d never been in there before… i told him why sophie and i started going and whatever he thought it was cool, we shot the shit for a bit… i wasn’t nervous at all and we seemed to hit it off… lots of laughing, convo was never awkward or silent and we were really comfortable with each other being touchy… (just while we were talking – on legs, arms, hands?) – he was really sweet and didn’t try to make a move on me, he just hugged me and asked me out to a movie this week. now let’s just see if he pulls through. that would be rather rad.

saturday i hung out with my love jes all day<3  and i ended up going out with her at night time…  we went to some sport’s bar in astoria (that sucked) for her friends birthday and i wound up bumping into this kid brian i used to work with at the video store…  who i would have LOVED to avoid for the rest of my days, but he insisted on coming up to me with a sarcastic “are you gonna say hi, or what”, so whatever.

he and i had this dramatic “fall out” over my old roommate christina years ago…  she stopped speaking to me and so did he when they started dating…  see, i was trying to be a friend and warning him of cheating bs she had done in the past with her ex and he didn’t care, in fact, he got mad at me…  so i stopped caring.  i wasn’t about to sit there fighting with the kid about her…  so i quit my job at west coast because of how awkward they both made me feel and anytime after that (we all worked there), and they ignored me as well.  it wasn’t until after they broke up that she and i were speaking again – but it wasn’t the same.  she is just always weird with me anyways so i just kind of gave up…  at any rate, she told me some stuff that went down – and i know it wasn’t all amazing like he tried to shove in my face the other night and i accidentally let something slip that i know about – that he didn’t know i knew about.  but it was really annoying having him all up in my face with his shit grin, so i took a shot at him…

he kept asking “how long did you even give us?” and then kept gloating about “well, we made it five years”…  like it was a big fucking game to him – yeah well my calculations say otherwise – and i hate to be a fucking baby, but i couldn’t stand that smug shit at all.  she was seeing my friend from the knights when i had my birthday party with steve in 2007 which made it at that point – three years.  and i don’t remember them being together afterwards – but whatever, i’m not putting anymore thought into this shit, because i’m lowering myself down to his level.  i’m just glad i got to tell him that he was an asshole and that we put it behind us – sort of?  i mean i’m just waiting for this phone call or text from her that i blew up her spot…  but you know what? she never treats me like a good friend anyhow, so at this point i could give two shits.  i’m not gonna act like a kid anymore about shit like this. that’s exactly what i told him.  bottom line is that he could have just spoken to me like a human being instead of not speaking to me at all for years, makes me feel like our friendship didn’t mean shit to him (even though he said it did).  and even if they did make it for three years, they aren’t together now – so, yeah.

good talks/laughs, got wasted by 8PM, walked around… turns out while going through the jukebox to play our traditional set that the owner in fact listened to me and sophie about the bouncing souls making a song out of the joint and he put the self-titled album in the jukebox! whaaaaaaaaat! (awesome!) i left a comment with a picture of it on their myspace about it, hope they see it<3

eric is in town and i wanted to steal a drink with him while he was here…  wanna try to fit that in.  i’m going to queens today – mom/erica time – sunday shonen is having his big bbq where all of my friends will be – gonna try to go to that but i’m supposed to hang out with ilya tonight ,which means i’d have to be back in brooklyn, which i wanted to do anyways – i didn’t want to sleep at my mom’s house – mannnn commuting takes up so much time – i gotta manage my time better…

blah blah blah.

so new stuff this week? i found another friend in brooklyn! i met ilya on friendster years ago…  i only met him one time in real life but we talked online for a long time and then lost touch…  so i was browsing through people on myspace (yes, i’m a loser that does that from time to time) and was looking to see if there were actually people in this “midwood” neighborhood that were around my age and found him :)  weird! it’s been like 6 or 7 years since i last talked to him…  we hung out at his apartment with his friends last night, it was fun… watched some aqua team hunger force and just chilled out til frankie called locked out of the apartment…  (cuddle blocker!)

wednesday sophie and i met up with greenwood for a holiday cocktail lounge excursion…  played the bouncing souls song titled for the bar for the guy who runs the joint, he loved it.  says he’s gonna put the self titled album in the juke box, OH yeah. (my inspiration)

tuesday lyrics boy and i attempted to see green day at webster hall, we didn’t get in.  instead, we stood outside cold and hungry for a while.  boo that. either way, NEXT.

andddddddd that’s about it.

i woke up at 7:45 on my own, praying it was much earlier than what it actually was so that i could close my eyes for another hour… but alas, it was time to get up. that 15 mins of going back to sleep would have killed me.

so i sat up, held my head in my hands for approx. 2 minutes… put hair stuff goodness in my hair, checked the temperature outside and twitterfox for anything that MUST be replied to ASAP and went on my way to the bathroom…

mom tried to make small conversation with me, but honestly after not speaking for a week over nothing… i’m not about to be the one to try to make things normal.

got ready within 15 mins, left 2 mins later than usual, had to run across francis lewis blvd… got to main street super fast (i was assuming there were many people off for good friday, and that’s why) and hopped on an express train. some guy was trying to get my attention, en espanol. thankfully i took a phone call and it bought a little time… then i tried to quickly get the earphones in but it did not work as expected. i get an “are you sleeping?” in spanish again and as i fumble to get the ear buds in, i get “what, you don’t speak spanish?” and i just glanced over when he started off with the “you’re honestly SO beautiful, are you american?” bit, lol… i just said thanks and put in my ear phones. hate that.

helped out some lost 18/19 year old kid @ 42nd street, seems like he doesn’t travel the trains much – he didn’t believe me that all orange line trains go to 23 ave… he let a B and a V go by and checked the big map and his iphone map like 89x before the F came…

no delancey street boy, however. i did see jason schwartzman again, lol. this time, i spotted him outside of my building in what seemed to be running gear, including a camo print hat. not even a cool camo print, it was like that weird digital camo i think. either way… this is the third time i’ve seen the boy and he ended up looking like he was trying to avoid confrontation. you know, i’m seriously never going to ask him for an autograph or a pic, i wish he’d relax… he was looking kinda cute today. he shaved and looked a bit on the tan side? i coulda have been imagining things, i had wind/tear in my left eye.

work went well aside from the fact that everyones website wouldn’t connect via FTP for some odd reason – a bunch of customers changed their ftp connections and didn’t tell us… hello…. how are we supposed to do custom work if we can’t get into your server, asses…

went to see the faint tonight with elle – they are so good live. they sounded PERFECT… they didn’t play sex is personal, boo. but they did have a sick set otherwise…

then we went to holiday cocktail lounge, strolled a little more and called it a night.

on the 4 train to grand central, i get some guy asking me where i was coming from, etc. he was all thugged out… i just kept nodding answers at him so i didn’t have to talk to him and then he started asking me about my pants.

says he likes them. says he wanted to know the brand…  i said i have no idea so i didn’t have to talk to him and then he asked me to turn around so he could “look for the label”.  seriously? lol. riiiiiiiiight. so i just told him the brand to shut him up…  he says he likes how tight they are and how the give me shape near my thighs/hips. lol. he also assumes i’m spanish (wtf?) and i told him i was a whitey and went on my merry little way.

home sweet home.
and about to hit the hay.

holiday cocktail lounge was fun on friday!  hung out with greenwood and sophs<3  went to his apartment on st. mark’s – so cute!  it’s lovely!

i could have got laid on friday by someone i’ve been longing to make sweet love to for a longggggggggg long time.  almost two years, lol, worst!  but alas, a new tally added to the “weekends i didn’t get laid”…  tally.  lol.  stupid mother nature got in the way, AGAIN.  this is the second time she’s put a stop to us.  i’m starting to think maybe we’re not fated to do the hibbidy dibbidy.

whatevz.

rangers lost on saturday – shocker.
i was supposed to go out on saturday night, i laid down for a “nap” and it turned into 13 hours instead…  i think i really needed it…  i cuddled up with that new log pillow i bought last week.  it’s so cute, i’m in love with it.  i wish it were a little firmer, but it’s the cutest thing i ever saw!

today i went to go look at what i thought was going to be an apartment with erica’s sister, but it turned out to be condos that aren’t even built up yet…  they just had some models to show us, which were kinda tiny – but very nice.  so they’re not gonna be built out for another 2/3 years anyways so i guess that’s out of the question.  so either i’m moving into their place they have already, or looking into a place of my own…

i waxed my brows today, feeling like a million bucks thanks to my homegirl lisa…  best!  -  then i went to the mall with erica because she and i, and her cousin sabrina all ordered matching rosary rings.  sabrina is making her confirmation next month, so that’s her gift from erica…  i just really wanted one :)  we’re such good little catholic girls, lol.

OHHHHHHHHHHHH and speaking of catholicism, erica and i drank redbull today!!!

i googled about the lent/”cheat day” thing, but they don’t count sunday’s!  apparently: “sundays are not part of the penitential season, so you do not have to practice signs of penitence on these days.”  – WOOO!!  so we’re allowed to have it on sunday’s and it’s not even cheating!!!  i had a little one and then a big one later in the day, so joyous.

what else did i do?  oh yes, i wasted money on frivolous things!… i bought a new white, short jacket (like i needed ANOTHER jacket!…), that new mac eyeshadow – aquavert – from the cupcake collection or whatever…  some bath and body works junk since i had a gift card from xmas i still hadn’t used…  and a new, dark purple, velvet coin purse… zZz boring, i know.

okay, sleep time.
work in the morning!

…little did we realize the elevator was locked as well as the staircase doors to get onto the floors…  worst.  so we hung out in the staircase for a few and then decided to move ourselves to a local bar for a $10 pitcher of bud light before the events of the evening started…

decided i wasn’t going to bother with the male species at all, until some suit that worked for AMEX wound up chatting with us…  someone put suicide machines on the jukebox at the bar and all three of us were like ???  whoa!  and YES! and he was impressed i knew who they were – me and soph were like, this is our scene…

we started talking about shows and stuff, that we were going to h2o/dropkick the next night…  i started bitching about bamboozle featuring face to face this year and he was going on and on about face to face as soon as i mentioned them, and nofx.

…why am i always so fascinated by boys who are into the same type of music as me?  he even knew the little face to face intro on the nofx live album…  i was impressed.  he seemed to be really into it too, he was cute…  but looked like a taller version of my ex andrew – he kept going on about how we never would have thought he was into all that by what he was wearing…  i guess he was right, can’t judge a book by its cover – the more we talked, the more we had in common…  he stored me as “Jess Punk Rock” in his phone.  oi.

SO then we finally arrived at kate’s bday, a bunch of my friends were there…  including two people i used to work with at the video store…  weird.  we stayed there from like 10-3ish… i got mangled…   i never got drunk with my friend mike malave because he was straight edge for years so i was psyched, and made it a point to get drunk with him.  vodka+cranberry on repeat, not good.

me and soph just left, dunno why.  i don’t remember leaving really…  was really fubar, worst.  i don’t remember going home except for the fact that i didn’t remember transferring from the 1 to the 7 but managed to, and was confused waking up at main street since i didn’t remember changing trains at all.  we got home and passed out, it was wonderful.

all day i was recovering in bed, hang overs SUCK.  but at least i haven’t pulled that off since head automatica…  3 months in good condition!  woo!  then we went to go see h2o/dropkick murphy’s at roseland…

we missed most of h2o, didn’t realize they’d be on so early…  found MIA billy taint in the crowd…  had a good time watching dropkick.  i was so irish inspired, i love my kind.  …except for when they’re HUGE, drunk and pumped up by irish punk rock.  SCARY.  seriously.  oh, those fucking micks<3  -  that has got to be THE scariest/most brutal pit when they play st. patty’s day…  woof.

there were a lot of hot irish boys there in their little rugby shirts and paperboy hats…  (i was the only girl wearing a hat like that, whattt?)  ughhh – i loved it.  shamrock tattoo’s everywhere…  grrr!  i want one so bad.  maybe i’ll get one to match my sisters, but not on the back of my neck like hers…  maybe on my right wrist.  shit, i love irish culture.  i was raised more with irish/german culture than anything.  oh MAN i was loving it.  and it made me wanna see black 47 so badly.  i wonder if their gonna do irish night at citifield… – AUGUST 22nd – IRISH NIGHT – WOO!

annnnnnnnnnnnd today i just went to cascarino’s, hung out with erica and we went to her uncles house for a bit in long island.  had some din din, chillaxed.  i love my chill out days with her.  so comfy.

um last thing:
RANGERS WON!

and that folks, was my weekend.

BEDTIME.

wonder why you were stuck in my subconscious last night.  i’ve never even looked at you in that way, but those piercing eyes were so intense last night…  woof.  and i don’t even like blue eyes, weird…. and so hot.

when we went to the souls at cha cha’s in coney two years ago, we were all pre-gaming at this bar down the boardwalk and i was sitting with missy and steve…  it was raining that day, gloomy, chilly…  it was august i think.  anyways, i was talking to missy who was on my left and i looked down the bar towards the front of the place and bryan walks over in this ridiculously ugly, dark green poncho and was staring into the place.  i guess maybe he was looking for someone…  so after like 2/3 minutes i gave him this big dumb grin from ear to ear and he smiled back big and walked away. missy and steve laughed at me, i must have looked so dumb.

blah blah blah.

so on friday: me and sophs did the holiday cocktail lounge again, we found out the owner died two weeks ago.  sad!

the guy who’s running the place now has redone it a little, at least he’s keeping it open.  it’s cute, they’ve got wings now and he gets excited everytime someone orders them…  they were eh.  no down the hatch wings, but good enough for bar food.  so we did that and then went over to bell blvd for her friend olivia’s birthday gathering…  which i was worried about because she’s friends with people i don’t really associate with, but they wound up not going…  so it was cool.

ran into a few friends i haven’t seen in a while…  there were three of us with matching souls broken heart tattoo’s, it was cute to see them all together.  didn’t get drunk.  i don’t know how i didn’t get wasted,  i was drinking from 7PM til 3AM, but i love it.  i had a nice, long, unsloppy buzz.

me and sophie slept at erica’s, then hung out with my little love muffin all day saturday too.  erica had to go to the mall to renew her passport, so we drove out to roosevelt field so she didn’t have to play the crazy waiting game in an actual city post office for hours.

wound up seeing a kid i met at the bar on bell the night prior, working at a sunglass stand.  got a little discount on these big, sexy purple jammies.  i also got some new little canvas/buckle booties and hit up vicky hush-hush for some undies.  i really hate those stupid “PINK” panties.  i feel like i’m 14 or 15 sifting through those things, they’re like JHS panties, lol.  -  i think the line sucks.  they pick the worst prints, and put the word “pink” everywhere…  oh, and they have really narrowed down the number of thongs compared to other types of undies.  i mean, yeah i love wearing boy shorts and my ass does look amazing in them – but not when i’m wearing tight ass pants and it looks like i’m wearing granny panties people!!!  -  whatever… i dug, dug, dug and found 5 good pairs.  woo!

i just relaxed all day today.
i did some freelance work for a friend, worked some other creative jargon, nothing much.
watched a lot of tv…  watched the rangers lose AGAIN… wtf guys?

steve found my favorite bracelet that one of the waiters gave me from cascarino’s today.  i thought when i ripped off a tight long sleeve at a krays show, it must have gone flying off with it but i was wrong!  actually, i was observing pictures from that night and after the shirt came off i saw it was still on, so i knew there was hope, lol.

i was honestly so upset.  it’s such a simple bracelet from columbia…  hard, black plastic string with wood beads going around it – but i love it.  i was begging ben to give it to me for months and finally he caved in and offered it to me.  i’ve been wearing it everyday since 2004.  it’s been through so much with me.  i’m such a sap, lol.

i feel like i think of things so strangely sometimes, but i really mean it.  it’s been through 2 boyfriends, been to 2 countries, various states, tons of shows, etc.  -  it’s a piece of me? kinda like the string around my neck too.  i almost cut it off a few months ago and decided on no for whatever reason…

OK so i’m dying for something chocolate, and there is no chocolate around.  this is horrible, what do i do?  i wish there were bodega’s around here.  i guess i’ll have to settle for chocolate milk again…

i stood outside waiting for about 15 mins waiting for soph to swing through, and no one ever showed up to open up shop.

we started going because the bouncing souls wrote a song about the joint.  but that romantic tribute faded fast, it just became our spot with oldies and born to run, HOOKED UP DRINKS, getting drunk for like $20 by 9 PM on fridays, romantic arm around sophs on the electrical taped up seats and christmas lights…

i hope the angry old man is okay.<3
i think he hated me.  i appreciated every strong drink he poured me.
especially the amstel on ice, lol.

guess only time will tell.

the only thing i really dislike about this year was part of the summer and my birthday.
and that which followed from my actions on my birthday. (sorry homie, i love you.)
oct/nov were kind of hard but i bounced back in decemeber.

best?
my new job $$$, my new tattoos, making new friends, going to mexico with m5, all the shows i went to,
me and m5 hanging out all the time, dunkin donuts was built on my corner (lol), intoxicated nights, the last of the mets games at shea, holiday cocktail lounge… tons of other stuff<3

my goals for 2009?
moving out, having fun, learning more for/through work and filtering out useless people and things.
and getting rid of the red base my hair has had to endure in 2008.

it won’t leave!  it got stuck in there when i walked across front street tonight at 6PM – WTF?

i can’t wait til tomorrow.  hopefully i can break the spell…  holiday cocktail lounge/north flushing styles.
maybe i’ll dress nicely tomorrow – it’s also our xmas lunch @ work…  skirt styles?
…if only i had some knit tights, and boots.

my week?
wound up going for a fish themed night in the snow…
got mocked.
got teased.
got criticized.
got twisted & twisted.
got my hair cut.
coded a lot.
always frozen.

i hate blogging, lol.
good riddance, tonight.