unused i thought this was a cool idea, and that’s my favorite quote from the book.

unfinished/unused this was a website layout idea i was toying around with… or at least an “about me” section… the barbie vanity was scanned out of a collection book from tarina tarantino when she had her barbie line out… (came with some purchases!) there are a bunch of things that i frequently use in graphic design in there too… donny miller pics, neckface, fafi, lucky cats, dp in a locket, a j-heart…

unfinished/unused was just playing around… the words under “death” read: “my mirrors are black for you” (misfits lyrics.) – the frame is from a mark ryden piece (view).

unused i spawned this off of the layout draft from above. how sexy are those big eyeballs<3 – the frame is from a mark ryden piece (view).

myspace this neon sign was above a door, existing next door my friends matts old job down near mott street… i loved it so i snapped a pic of it… i don’t remember where i got the undergoing maintenance bit. i don’t remember coming up with that, lol – perhaps a quotes picture or something… i can’t take credit, i’m unsure…

windows wallpaper/personal contact table this is from the andy warhol directed video for the cars’ video for “hello again” off of the album “heartbeat city”… growing up, this was one of my favorite albums/songs by the cars… and i remember my cousins used to have the heartbeat city vhs video collection on all the time when they babysat me. #raisedwell

unfinished/unused i love this, but i think it was too dark for me/my website. i never finished it

myspace when i had to watch poor shea stadium being taken down piece by piece, i started getting super sentimental and made this… there was a billboard next to citifield that read “going, going, (but) never gone” referring to shea. …my eyes actually filled up with tears. i fucking loved shea stadium<3. #toughtimes

unused this is from the infamous/gross scene from the shining… i toyed around with it and started making it an “about me” section for my website. just never finished it…

unused before i had internet working in midwood when i moved in with frankie, i was super bored and made this. i tried to make something simple, clean and different.

unused just a few of my favorite things<3 at my train stop for work.

go support my roommate and his ill clothing line, yes? yes!<3
if you're a girl, go buy your man something!
if you're a girl that enjoys horror and DIY, go buy yourself something! (cut&sew!)

check out his blog, also.

the picture at the left is off of a shopping bag. i think i got the actual graphic there from my friend sheena’s website… but i know where it’s actually from. i’ve seen it a shit ton of times, it’s a gaudy red and white monstrosity. anyways, this one lady that takes the Q16 (my old bus in queens i would have to take home from main street) used it everyday. i remember after frankie showed me this apartment and the bedroom he was planning on renting, i was very hesitant because this was seriously a huge change. i thought about it and almost didn’t take this place, but my mother & sister got into a huge fight that i was dragged into and i decided i needed out. everytime i saw that bag on the bus it inspired me, so i told frankie yes.

anddddd three months later, here i am, happy… it’s a change of pace, but it’s feeling good now. it’s extremely frustrating because i’m still helping out financially at my mothers house, but it’s still nice to be able to do whatever i want… and i’ve become good friends with jen instead of just saying hi to her at the bar, sitting in another area of the knights of columbus for hours…

i feel like i’ve spoken about brooklyn and this apartment and moving out wayyy too much on this website… but i keep seeing the damn picture above in my computer, and thought this was was cute and wanted to share.

okay so when i kill bugs, sometimes i feel bad. and only because i always think of ryan weir, telling me that every living thing is a living thing. (he never killed bugs). but if i see one of these fuckers (above), they’re getting slaughtered… the mere thought of 9739082 legs crawling across me SICKENS ME. (haha, i made the picture above to try to make them look cute… hopefully to remind myself not to kill them, because apparently they eat other bugs… but no no no, i can’t)

this is the second time i found one in my new place. well, in the bedroom of my new place. who knows if they’re out in the rest of the apartment or not, lol. but either way, the damn things haven’t been babies. they’ve been BIG and GROSS. and apparently, not loners… like i’ve read, and as i’ve been told.

so i was minding my business, falling asleep with oscar the other night… when i feel him jump up. i was confused, put on the light and the huge monster centipede was crawling up my wall. eeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwww! first thing i do, text frankie. i had to kill the last one, i want a man to kill this one. so i text him to come downstairs to my room with “heeeeelllllllllllpp me” and “ewwwwwwwww”. and nothing. wtf? what if i was being murdered? lol. well, i guess i wouldn’t be texting, but still.

so as i’m waiting for some type of response from frank, i open the door and pace back and forth for about five minutes. his dog comes in and looks at me like i’m nuts because i’m freaking out (yes, i know it’s just a bug but EEWWWWW!) so i got the lysol cleaning spray, a flip flop and a piece of paper towel for the corpse… and stared at the damn thing on my wall for a good five to ten minutes before actually slaughtering it.

i stared, i asked oscar to eat it, i asked buddy (the dog) to get frank, lol… kept getting chills and being grossed out and finally got the balls to spray/demolish this thing. it fell to the ground and started running. i thought the cleaner would paralyze it, apparently not. so it went under my baseboard heater, i said eff that. threw the flip flop under it and moved it til it came back out. i wouldn’t have been able to sleep otherwise. so it did, and i smashed it. sorry fella.

i couldn’t sleep for a good hour because i was awaiting another ritual killing. worst.

saturday:
hung out with jen and ilya all day until he left… we attempted to watch mallrats and fell asleep for about an hour – then when we finally woke up – i decided since my pay was deposited early this weekend, that i was gonna take jen out to dinner for mexican food… we ventured off into the wilderness of brooklyn and didn’t realize i did it without my wallet… about 35 minutes north of the hood we realized this, and came back. only to find that it didn’t even matter because my bank card wasn’t in my damn wallet anyhow. so i tried to figure something out but it was already almost 8PM and the bank was closed… so we just made mac and cheese and watched TV in the romantic setting of my christmas lights<3 lol

sunday:
thankfully my boss went into work on sunday, and turns out on one of my weekday afternoon coffee excursions i left my bank card in my work sweater… so i went to dumbo to pick it up – had another jason schwartzman spotting!!!!!! (sneaky little man has been hiding) – got a coffee and was on my way to queens. had to see my lovie dovie erica and go see mama dukes.

erica and i went to cinco de mayo for some food/sangria (shocker, i know) and watched classic ranger games on MSG. felt soooooo good to do that again. we were watching the ’94 stanley cup finals against the canucks. crazy how anxious one can still get watching a series from 15 years ago, lol.

mommy and i went to target and i bought some much needed BS and she finally came to see my apartment… she even said it was such an easy/fast ride, i don’t understand why my queens turd friends aren’t here more often, lol.

and that was my weekend, in case you were wondering.

eric is in town and i wanted to steal a drink with him while he was here…  wanna try to fit that in.  i’m going to queens today – mom/erica time – sunday shonen is having his big bbq where all of my friends will be – gonna try to go to that but i’m supposed to hang out with ilya tonight ,which means i’d have to be back in brooklyn, which i wanted to do anyways – i didn’t want to sleep at my mom’s house – mannnn commuting takes up so much time – i gotta manage my time better…

blah blah blah.

so new stuff this week? i found another friend in brooklyn! i met ilya on friendster years ago…  i only met him one time in real life but we talked online for a long time and then lost touch…  so i was browsing through people on myspace (yes, i’m a loser that does that from time to time) and was looking to see if there were actually people in this “midwood” neighborhood that were around my age and found him :)  weird! it’s been like 6 or 7 years since i last talked to him…  we hung out at his apartment with his friends last night, it was fun… watched some aqua team hunger force and just chilled out til frankie called locked out of the apartment…  (cuddle blocker!)

wednesday sophie and i met up with greenwood for a holiday cocktail lounge excursion…  played the bouncing souls song titled for the bar for the guy who runs the joint, he loved it.  says he’s gonna put the self titled album in the juke box, OH yeah. (my inspiration)

tuesday lyrics boy and i attempted to see green day at webster hall, we didn’t get in.  instead, we stood outside cold and hungry for a while.  boo that. either way, NEXT.

andddddddd that’s about it.

thank god i found the USB cord for my iphone or else i wouldn’t have aim, or a phone.  my shit was fully charged when i left brooklyn and apparently i wore it out…  it was on its last leg here when i got home from being out all day.

i’m on a laptop.
WORST.

i feel like i can’t type correctly on laptops and i feel like it just HAS to be adding to my wrists that are already going to be cursed with carpel tunnel syndrome in the future…  wa wa wa worst!

so yeah, still don’t have internet at home.  frankie says i need a wireless card in my computer.  bleh.  i don’t even know when i’m getting one.  i really just want to get it so that i can freelance and make some damn extra money…  blah.

so my first week at the apartment has gone pretty well.  still don’t know more than four people that live in brooklyn, so that’s kinda getting to me…  i feel bad that i always look to frankie for brooklyn guidance, or depending on him for social sanity.  it would be a lot easier if i had the internet to keep me preoccupied…  anyways i’ve gotten used to the commute already, just need to get more acquainted with my hood.  i know where some stores are and one train stop away there’s food and stores…  i need to find a bar we can regularly frequent so that we can make some friends…  poor oscar is still not settled with the dog…  he keeps hitting him though…  and the dog doesn’t bite at him or anything…  he’s only barked at him, hopefully it’s just the whole getting used to each other thing…

hmm.  so yeah…  the beginning of the week my friend jen who dates my friend from bayside came over to my house…  she kinda lives near me – kept me company during the day…  and then i went to go see the kills with rox.  we had a romantic asian dinner (lol) and then drinks and music.  my sexy little date…  friday laura came over and we got drunk with frankie :)  watched tv, bugged out…

today erica and i went to see her “friend” (boyfriend) box for the NYPD – they fought against the suffolk county PD
it was interesting…  something different to do.
pauly from rocky was there and the father from “family bonds” (retired HBO series) was there too.

now i’m in queens.
lonely.
in a boring room.

tomorrow for mother’s day we’re going to the mets game and just hanging out i guess…  going to see the bouncing souls at night.  (woo!)  i haven’t seen them since my bday, hopefully this set – they won’t let me down.  last time they suckkkkkkkkkked. (acoustic nonsense)

so rad.

i’m gonna try to lay down for sleepy time.

predestined paths.

(i believe in life magic, lol)

there are little white dots all over the walls from where i had stuff taped up, my monster collage walls…  still nowhere near as bad as my old house, but enough…

…i’m gonna miss my little mid-urb neighborhood…  i realized that last night when i was getting home from work.  i had to leave early because of ridiculously horrible cramps, and wound up being back here while it was still light out.  and quite warm.  – i love spring time so much.  and it looks so pretty around here – all the big/little houses with such character (especially the tudors! – fave!) – flowers and trees…  not buildings and hustle/bustle…  well not too much of it anyways, especially on my side streets…

in fact walking home during spring/summer and fall nights from bell is one of my favorite things in the world.  once the warm weather hits, i live for it.  good exercise and it clears the head…  so this weekend, i gotta fit it in before i won’t be around all the time.  especially to sleep here…  although i’m sure i’ll be here for many drunken nights that i’ll end up crashing on the couch…  haha i’m acting like i’m gonna be in another state or country…  but brooklyn – especially where i’m going to be – is kinda far.  especially when you don’t drive.  and now i REALLY don’t have the need to, lol.  and i think it’s gonna be a way different crowd than around here.

BLAH BLAH BLAH.
i’ve got a closet the size of  a small bedroom and a red haired italian boy to get tattoo’d with often!

so…  in other news.  the rangers won tonight (snoozefest, i know – but it’s the playoffs! – GO LUNDQVIST! GO DUBEY!<333) anddd i finally got my rosary ring that i had ordered… one size too big – so it’s on my middle finger instead of my ring finger…
(note to self: SIZE 5 ring finger.)

uhhhh i forgot to post a lot recently…  for example: last thursday, erica and i were going to go for a walk with some coffee because it was nice out – and instead, walking passed kc’s bar – we see our boss vinny from casci’s chillin’ out with this other bartender we know and his gf – so we go in to say hi and it’s all downhill from there.  i then bumped into shonen and danny at the bar (you dont even know who these people are!) and sean and danny from endwell… (a band) and erin as well.  it was a druken mess of a night.  on a thursday.  on bell.

yeah.
bayside<3

yeah, i don’t live an exciting life at all.
goodnight.

i feel like i’m going to give her the worst anxiety because she’ll be out so much money every month…  but i’ve been telling her for MONTHS i wanted to be out by april/may…  so she should have been saving to go too… i told her i’d help her out and give her money for an extra month, which is going to bleed me dry unless i find some freelance work.  (any takers?)  gotta invest in cases of beef ramen noodle, redbull, and heineken light – lol.  (now accepting donations!)

although it’ll only be like that through may, so whatever.

aside from the fights we’ve gotten into this year, i love my mom.  and although i lived on my own before for a little while when i was 21, i went back home when it didn’t work out.  (thanks for that)  but i think this is it.  no i KNOW this is it.  -  it aint gonna happen again…  and yeah, it took 27 years to get to this point, which is too long for most…  but it has always just been my mother and my sister and i.  this is really hard for me.   i can’t imagine not seeing her everyday…  being able to give her a hug and a kiss whenver i want…  we’ve been sidekicks for 27 years<3

i hate this growing up shit, and it’s scary and hard.  i must sound like such a loser…  but i’ve honestly done so much in the past year that’s thrown me into adulthood, which i never wanted to face.  i mean, who does?  duh.  but i just never felt like 27 was that old.  i still look and feel how i did at 21/22.

BUT i kinda like it.
(and i’m kinda scared – transplanting myself and all…)

moving along….

i’m MOVING TO BROOKLYN!!!!!!
don’t worry queens, you’ll always be my heart, and i’ll be back…
but i need a break from all queens BULLSHIT.

i’ll be an official resident as of may 1st.
in a groovy apartment with a groovy little shit named eiknarf<333

i want to move into frankie’s apartment already. (so excited.)

i want to dye half of my hair a darker shade of brown than what it is all over.

i need to do crunches and get this gut off.

i want a tan.

(debating on a few fake and bake sessions.  what? just a few…  been there, done that – shut up.)

“god only knows” by the beach boys, has been stuck in my head ALL DAY.<3

worked on virus’s at work all day.

watched it snow today. (please, no mas.)

going to sleep early, again.

more interesting posts soon, i promise.  lol.<333