so here are a few things i found in a folder on my computer tonight… i had been messing around with this stuff in photoshop and they were either unused, unfinished or on my (private) myspace profile… (so i’m assuming most of you haven’t seen these things…)
unused i thought this was a cool idea, and that’s my favorite quote from the book.
going through my daily blogs, i keep looking for a raquel reed update… her blog has been the same for a while… anyswayz, so i’m poking around… find a picture of what looks like a sleeve… i’m like wtf, she got a sleeve and a hand tattoo?
nope…. IIIIII SPYYYYYY MY FORMER ROOMMATES FUCKING HAND IN FRONT OF RR*S MOUTH?!?!
what theeee/how frankie? and why would you wait til AFTER i live with you? 
LOVE HER. ugh. (click<3333) SO GORGEOUS.
raquel reed > audrey kitching (snoozefest)
(okay, i’ll stop acting like a four year old now)
so random/weird.
small world.
go support my roommate and his ill clothing line, yes? yes!<3
if you're a girl, go buy your man something!
if you're a girl that enjoys horror and DIY, go buy yourself something! (cut&sew!)
check out his blog, also.
i don’t know how many of you follow me on twitter or not, but i just posted that this apartment finally feels like home… i just looked at a picture i have of whitestone park and realized that it’s SO far away from where i am this very moment. and i feel better about that than i ever have since moving here.
the picture at the left is off of a shopping bag. i think i got the actual graphic there from my friend sheena’s website… but i know where it’s actually from. i’ve seen it a shit ton of times, it’s a gaudy red and white monstrosity. anyways, this one lady that takes the Q16 (my old bus in queens i would have to take home from main street) used it everyday. i remember after frankie showed me this apartment and the bedroom he was planning on renting, i was very hesitant because this was seriously a huge change. i thought about it and almost didn’t take this place, but my mother & sister got into a huge fight that i was dragged into and i decided i needed out. everytime i saw that bag on the bus it inspired me, so i told frankie yes.
anddddd three months later, here i am, happy… 
it’s a change of pace, but it’s feeling good now. it’s extremely frustrating because i’m still helping out financially at my mothers house, but it’s still nice to be able to do whatever i want… and i’ve become good friends with jen instead of just saying hi to her at the bar, sitting in another area of the knights of columbus for hours…
i feel like i’ve spoken about brooklyn and this apartment and moving out wayyy too much on this website… but i keep seeing the damn picture above in my computer, and thought this was was cute and wanted to share.
okay so when i kill bugs, sometimes i feel bad. and only because i always think of ryan weir, telling me that every living thing is a living thing. (he never killed bugs). but if i see one of these fuckers (above), they’re getting slaughtered… the mere thought of 9739082 legs crawling across me SICKENS ME. (haha, i made the picture above to try to make them look cute… hopefully to remind myself not to kill them, because apparently they eat other bugs… but no no no, i can’t)
this is the second time i found one in my new place. well, in the bedroom of my new place. who knows if they’re out in the rest of the apartment or not, lol. but either way, the damn things haven’t been babies. they’ve been BIG and GROSS. and apparently, not loners… like i’ve read, and as i’ve been told.
so i was minding my business, falling asleep with oscar the other night… when i feel him jump up. i was confused, put on the light and the huge monster centipede was crawling up my wall. eeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwww! first thing i do, text frankie. i had to kill the last one, i want a man to kill this one. so i text him to come downstairs to my room with “heeeeelllllllllllpp me” and “ewwwwwwwww”. and nothing. wtf? what if i was being murdered? lol. well, i guess i wouldn’t be texting, but still.
so as i’m waiting for some type of response from frank, i open the door and pace back and forth for about five minutes. his dog comes in and looks at me like i’m nuts because i’m freaking out (yes, i know it’s just a bug but EEWWWWW!) so i got the lysol cleaning spray, a flip flop and a piece of paper towel for the corpse… and stared at the damn thing on my wall for a good five to ten minutes before actually slaughtering it.
i stared, i asked oscar to eat it, i asked buddy (the dog) to get frank, lol… kept getting chills and being grossed out and finally got the balls to spray/demolish this thing. it fell to the ground and started running. i thought the cleaner would paralyze it, apparently not. so it went under my baseboard heater, i said eff that. threw the flip flop under it and moved it til it came back out. i wouldn’t have been able to sleep otherwise. so it did, and i smashed it. sorry fella.
i couldn’t sleep for a good hour because i was awaiting another ritual killing. worst.
memorial day weekend… who cares? just another 3 day weekend with assholes clogging up highways, places to go, etc. – it always reminds me of my dad because i went up to boston the first memorial day weekend after i met him. (anddddddd then his psychotic girlfriend who didn’t believe i was really his beat me up!) – blah. things to do, things to do…
eric is in town and i wanted to steal a drink with him while he was here… wanna try to fit that in. i’m going to queens today – mom/erica time – sunday shonen is having his big bbq where all of my friends will be – gonna try to go to that but i’m supposed to hang out with ilya tonight ,which means i’d have to be back in brooklyn, which i wanted to do anyways – i didn’t want to sleep at my mom’s house – mannnn commuting takes up so much time – i gotta manage my time better…
blah blah blah.
so new stuff this week? i found another friend in brooklyn! i met ilya on friendster years ago… i only met him one time in real life but we talked online for a long time and then lost touch… so i was browsing through people on myspace (yes, i’m a loser that does that from time to time) and was looking to see if there were actually people in this “midwood” neighborhood that were around my age and found him :) weird! it’s been like 6 or 7 years since i last talked to him… we hung out at his apartment with his friends last night, it was fun… watched some aqua team hunger force and just chilled out til frankie called locked out of the apartment… (cuddle blocker!)
wednesday sophie and i met up with greenwood for a holiday cocktail lounge excursion… played the bouncing souls song titled for the bar for the guy who runs the joint, he loved it. says he’s gonna put the self titled album in the juke box, OH yeah. (my inspiration)
tuesday lyrics boy and i attempted to see green day at webster hall, we didn’t get in. instead, we stood outside cold and hungry for a while. boo that. either way, NEXT.
andddddddd that’s about it.
okay it’s 3 AM, why am i still awake? not only that, i’m awake in my bedroom at mom’s house.
i have nothing to do here.
all that’s in my room here is some laundry, a shelf with candy/2 lunchboxes and a candle, and my bed.
thank god i found the USB cord for my iphone or else i wouldn’t have aim, or a phone. my shit was fully charged when i left brooklyn and apparently i wore it out… it was on its last leg here when i got home from being out all day.
i’m on a laptop.
WORST.
i feel like i can’t type correctly on laptops and i feel like it just HAS to be adding to my wrists that are already going to be cursed with carpel tunnel syndrome in the future… wa wa wa worst!
so yeah, still don’t have internet at home. frankie says i need a wireless card in my computer. bleh. i don’t even know when i’m getting one. i really just want to get it so that i can freelance and make some damn extra money… blah.
so my first week at the apartment has gone pretty well. still don’t know more than four people that live in brooklyn, so that’s kinda getting to me… i feel bad that i always look to frankie for brooklyn guidance, or depending on him for social sanity. it would be a lot easier if i had the internet to keep me preoccupied… anyways i’ve gotten used to the commute already, just need to get more acquainted with my hood. i know where some stores are and one train stop away there’s food and stores… i need to find a bar we can regularly frequent so that we can make some friends… poor oscar is still not settled with the dog… he keeps hitting him though… and the dog doesn’t bite at him or anything… he’s only barked at him, hopefully it’s just the whole getting used to each other thing…
hmm. so yeah… the beginning of the week my friend jen who dates my friend from bayside came over to my house… she kinda lives near me – kept me company during the day… and then i went to go see the kills with rox. we had a romantic asian dinner (lol) and then drinks and music. my sexy little date… friday laura came over and we got drunk with frankie :) watched tv, bugged out…
today erica and i went to see her “friend” (boyfriend) box for the NYPD – they fought against the suffolk county PD
it was interesting… something different to do.
pauly from rocky was there and the father from “family bonds” (retired HBO series) was there too.
now i’m in queens.
lonely.
in a boring room.
tomorrow for mother’s day we’re going to the mets game and just hanging out i guess… going to see the bouncing souls at night. (woo!) i haven’t seen them since my bday, hopefully this set – they won’t let me down. last time they suckkkkkkkkkked. (acoustic nonsense)
so rad.
i’m gonna try to lay down for sleepy time.
may 1st is just ’round the corner!!! – so i got a lot of shit packed, my walls are looking mighty bare, and it’s so weird. i hate it. it’s freaking me out. i won’t live here anymore… ever again. not with mommy either. not that it’s cut the cord type shit around here, most of the time we can just live together without pissing each other off, and i just love her. i kinda find it funny/ironic that the apartment we lived in together when it was just me and her when i was a weee little stu (1-4 yrs old), before sarah was born is directly around the corner from this apartment i’m typing from right now… and now i’m leaving her from here…
predestined paths.
(i believe in life magic, lol)
there are little white dots all over the walls from where i had stuff taped up, my monster collage walls… still nowhere near as bad as my old house, but enough…
…i’m gonna miss my little mid-urb neighborhood… i realized that last night when i was getting home from work. i had to leave early because of ridiculously horrible cramps, and wound up being back here while it was still light out. and quite warm. – i love spring time so much. and it looks so pretty around here – all the big/little houses with such character (especially the tudors! – fave!) – flowers and trees… not buildings and hustle/bustle… well not too much of it anyways, especially on my side streets…
in fact walking home during spring/summer and fall nights from bell is one of my favorite things in the world. once the warm weather hits, i live for it. good exercise and it clears the head… so this weekend, i gotta fit it in before i won’t be around all the time. especially to sleep here… although i’m sure i’ll be here for many drunken nights that i’ll end up crashing on the couch… haha i’m acting like i’m gonna be in another state or country… but brooklyn – especially where i’m going to be – is kinda far. especially when you don’t drive. and now i REALLY don’t have the need to, lol. and i think it’s gonna be a way different crowd than around here.
BLAH BLAH BLAH.
i’ve got a closet the size of a small bedroom and a red haired italian boy to get tattoo’d with often!
so… in other news. the rangers won tonight (snoozefest, i know – but it’s the playoffs! – GO LUNDQVIST! GO DUBEY!<333) anddd i finally got my rosary ring that i had ordered… one size too big – so it’s on my middle finger instead of my ring finger…
(note to self: SIZE 5 ring finger.)
so i broke it down to my mom tonight. told her the moving out dealio.
such a hard thing to do, just as bad as i thought her reaction would be.
i miss sophie. i haven’t seen her in like a week or some shit. wtf.
i want to move into frankie’s apartment already. (so excited.)
i want to dye half of my hair a darker shade of brown than what it is all over.
i need to do crunches and get this gut off.
i want a tan.
(debating on a few fake and bake sessions. what? just a few… been there, done that – shut up.)
“god only knows” by the beach boys, has been stuck in my head ALL DAY.<3
worked on virus’s at work all day.
watched it snow today. (please, no mas.)
going to sleep early, again.
more interesting posts soon, i promise. lol.<333
this weekend had its ups and downs. friday was fun, went for drinks afterwork with willie dictionary, then went to dinner with christine and erica… christine is 4 1/2 months pregnant, CUTIE! and for some reason i haven’t seen her since february, so it was good to catch up with her… we went to cinco de mayo (shocker) and then just went back to erica’s apartment to chill out – we were just shooting the shit and i was making her and erica laugh so hard they were crying… fun times
saturday morning, my sister and mother got into a huge fight – apparently “because of me” needing a ride to go pick up my jacket from the post office… (below, sexy. fuck yes. and yeah it’s part/fleece. and it’s not heavy and gross for this time of year at all.)
long story short – sarah had a dr’s appt and was heading out like 20/30 mins from when i woke up so i figured i had time if my mom drove me up to get it, but my sister wasn’t having it… so i went downstairs and asked my mom if she’d take me fast and she told me to ask my sister… so i did…
sarah got pissed off that we were asking her for the car because my mom knew “she needed the car all week”, and then my mom got pissed because she was answering me snotty. so she tried to defend me… don’t know why, but it all escalated between the two of them because they both have bad tempers. they were screaming at each other, and my sister was dropping F-bombs left and right… so my mom told my sister to pack her shit and move out, that she couldn’t take her attitude anymore, and my sister ended up cursing AT her… i just tried to calm the both of them down and make them stop… i told my mother to stop answering her, and she did… and then i went upstairs to try to calm sarah down with reasoning and talking and she stopped finally…
so here’s the purple hair that i worked so hard to get on friday… stupid bleaching… dying… blah.
i’m blogging in the middle of a ranger game, what a dumb idea. i’m very distracted and have nothing to say because of it. haha, so unfocused.
oh i’ll update later…
yes, yesssssssssssssss – come to me dubey…<3
i went with frankie to get it, his cousin (bert krak) does tattoo’s for a spot near my house – and @ smith street tattoo a couple of days a week… i love it, i’ve been meaning to get a 4 leaf clover since my sister did a few years ago – and going to that dropkick show a few weeks ago, got me fiending too – there were celtic tattoos and shamrock tattoo’s EVERYWHERE. (drool!)
apparently, it was bert’s 3rd shamrock tattoo in three consecutive days. so hopefully it’s super lucky! (third time’s a charm he said)
secret, private section of the LIRR.
ROMANTIC!
tonight was odd, yet fun. me and soph went to go support/watch yak ballz (& nick hook) @ some pub in midtown… met up with my buddy frankie… strangest show ever. or combination of performers, rather… le yak has got some great stage presence… had a good time.
i didn’t take any pictures, but frankie did.
frankie is still out, so i have nothing to share with this online world of mine….
i’m just baffled… seriously?…
don’t fucking text me or call me to hang out IF YOU’RE NOT GOING TO FUCKING PICK UP THE PHONE. i don’t get it. why bother even contacting me? yo, just leave me the fuck alone then. move along… it’s a must, let’s call the whole thing OFF.
oh yeah, and fuck straight hair. it’s SO fucking BORING.
until shit is down to my waist again, curly it is!
and i’m gonna punch that bitch from supercuts in the face if i ever see her again for cutting layers into my hair in the front. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
mmm… cut a flap off of the tip of one my friggin’ fingers, eep. got inebriated and cuddled with my lovies…