that chick jess is truly dazzling » dating http://www.posed-to-death.org Just another WordPress site Sat, 21 Jan 2012 00:10:04 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2 dun.dun.dun http://www.posed-to-death.org/2010/12/21/dun-dun-dun/ http://www.posed-to-death.org/2010/12/21/dun-dun-dun/#comments Tue, 21 Dec 2010 20:50:47 +0000 stujessica http://www.posed-to-death.org/?p=5774 …another one bites the dust…

i hate when things go wrong and you don’t know why. story of my love life in 2010…  i felt like this coulda been rad, guess i thought wrong.  i just hate thinking about “what if” and that type of nonsense.

what if i went over when he asked me to?
but then i think about why i didn’t to begin with.
i don’t chase people, and i can’t put in all the effort.
not a good way to start things off.

it’s a two way street.

still, sadness.</3

well if it’s either one or the other, he (not-so-dramatically) destroyed…  boo, you.

]]> http://www.posed-to-death.org/2010/12/21/dun-dun-dun/feed/ 0 worst http://www.posed-to-death.org/2010/09/22/worst-5/ http://www.posed-to-death.org/2010/09/22/worst-5/#comments Wed, 22 Sep 2010 06:01:45 +0000 stujessica http://www.posed-to-death.org/?p=5096 great – i’m feeling the love bug again…  i saw this picture and frowned… i think i forgot how to do this.  at my age and four long-term relationships later – you would think that i wouldn’t have any issues with this type of a thing…

i don’t know if i wasn’t ready to date when i met manny, or if manny and i just weren’t meant to be…  i hate dating people for a few months – it’s so not me…  i suppose i have to learn to be patient when it comes time to finding someone, but then i feel like if i sit here waiting for prince charming to fall into my lap (face first please, giggity!), he’ll never arrive…

make moves, don’t make moves…  i don’t know how to do this.  and the last two people i’ve hung out with i thought the vibes were awesome and then nothing…  again, i don’t know if it’s bad timing or if i can’t read vibes anymore, lol…

THIS IS GIVING ME ANXIETY.

i just want to be happy again, and having something like in that picture…  it’s been far too long.

i need thoughtfulness, fun, laughing, good sex, walks, texts, all that corny shit…  i know there’s good and bad, but i want it all again.

guess i have to put up “dreamlover” again, lol.

as i was walking home in the awesome cool weather, i just wanted to go for a walk.  and i have no one to walk with…  it kind of hurt the heart a little :(

lol, i’m such a miserable, whiney fuck…

]]> http://www.posed-to-death.org/2010/09/22/worst-5/feed/ 4 on.repeat http://www.posed-to-death.org/2010/03/14/on-repeat/ http://www.posed-to-death.org/2010/03/14/on-repeat/#comments Mon, 15 Mar 2010 01:00:53 +0000 stujessica http://www.posed-to-death.org/?p=3895 no srsly

dear god,
please send me a boy that listens to joy division, new order, the misfits, the souls, alkaline trio, glassjaw… one that has dark hair and sexy eyes and no beard (or at least a really trimmed beard)… one that wants to hang out with me at least three times a week… one i can eat wendy’s with and get matching tattoo’s with… someone that gets my humor and loves going upstate with me… someone who will jump in the crowd with me at a show and who doesn’t mind riding trains all night to get home…

…one i can eventually marry and have a french bulldog, a hairless cat and maybe a kid or two with…

i haven’t been single this long in ages and its starting to get to me and i feel like i’ll never date ever again – ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

send me an angel<3
kthnxbai

]]> http://www.posed-to-death.org/2010/03/14/on-repeat/feed/ 0 type.delete http://www.posed-to-death.org/2009/10/20/type-delete/ http://www.posed-to-death.org/2009/10/20/type-delete/#comments Wed, 21 Oct 2009 03:42:47 +0000 stujessica http://www.posed-to-death.org/?p=2457

how did i get here?

being unsure, being irrational, caring…

i feel like it’s 45%.

i don’t want to be on my toes, i want to be in his arms.
…him pulling me there.

why did i let my guard down?
i never should let myself get all wrapped up in things.
i don’t want to be randomly integrated, i need love.
i really do, and i want it.

god, it’s hard to say this.

]]> http://www.posed-to-death.org/2009/10/20/type-delete/feed/ 0 boy.oh.boy http://www.posed-to-death.org/2009/06/29/boy-oh-boy-2/ http://www.posed-to-death.org/2009/06/29/boy-oh-boy-2/#comments Mon, 29 Jun 2009 07:44:22 +0000 stujessica http://www.posed-to-death.org/?p=1549 well alrighty! so i’m sure i’m going to get yelled at for putting up this picture, because it’s so not flattering, but it’s adorable. i’m glad it was captured… that was a fun ilya, jess and jen moment in time…

i haven’t really openly spoken about anyone i’ve dated on this website for various reasons… (dramarama!) but this one seems to be different… easier…

i don’t know where this is headed, this whole dating thing has been quite confusing over the last six months. the two idiots i dated/hooked up with earlier in the year fucked me up… one was (what i thought was) a good friend and the other one i can’t even begin to form a label for… :\

“trust is something that comes easy, when you’ve never been a victim” – face to face

haha, deep. but honestly, truth.


i’m constantly apprehensive about dating/trusting people. as if it weren’t bad enough that i have that problem where i’m a numb and unfeeling person to protect my own emotions – no thanks to andrew – now throw that into the equation!

…i feel like i’m doomed to never fall in love again. or doomed because i feel like i’m unsure of if i want to be in a relationship again… (i mean, i don’t know how i feel…) … i’m not worried about that right now – it’s only been like, a month? but he feels really good.

haha, giggity.

i mean just being with him feels really good…

we make each other laugh, think the same things, we just have a good time together… i am a hardcore believer in things lining up in life in strange ways, and i mean – finding him again six years later seems kinda strangely coincidental to me… i wasn’t even gonna move to brooklyn, and that’s kinda the only reason i found him again.

then again, i guess i thought the same way about the other two… strange things brought us together as well. i find it funny how pieces of my life always seem to form together. maybe i should stop thinking life is so fucking magical.

stupid, tiny NYC…

]]> http://www.posed-to-death.org/2009/06/29/boy-oh-boy-2/feed/ 0 ugh http://www.posed-to-death.org/2009/01/21/ugh-2/ http://www.posed-to-death.org/2009/01/21/ugh-2/#comments Thu, 22 Jan 2009 02:09:57 +0000 stujessica http://www.posed-to-death.org/?p=283 all i wanted to do was finish this brutal mid-week with a 3D horror flick and the date catches a fever…  even worse is that his sister has mono, and we’ve been totally making out for weeks.  ughhhhhhhhhhh.  i’m 27 years old, i can’t get mono now…  shit i avoided all this bullshit when i was a teenager :(

i have to do sidework for the local tattoo parlor mannnn tonight…  he’s got a printing business or something for shirts and he hit me up.  i really wanted to work on my idea for an op-ivy shirt though :(

AND now i have to tackle steve tonight, who apparently “wants to have a talk”…  :\

i just want to dye my hair and relax tonight dammit… grrr.

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