so this sucks…  (click the link below to read what i mean)
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! say it aint so!!!

i stood outside waiting for about 15 mins waiting for soph to swing through, and no one ever showed up to open up shop.

we started going because the bouncing souls wrote a song about the joint.  but that romantic tribute faded fast, it just became our spot with oldies and born to run, HOOKED UP DRINKS, getting drunk for like $20 by 9 PM on fridays, romantic arm around sophs on the electrical taped up seats and christmas lights…

i hope the angry old man is okay.<3
i think he hated me.  i appreciated every strong drink he poured me.
especially the amstel on ice, lol.

guess only time will tell.

wow, that felt normal.
i forgot what it was like.

:le sigh:
anyways.

the stupid LIRR didn’t even check my $7 ticket heading back towards queens tonight, so i’m gonna use that shit a different day. in fact, i think i should ride the LIRR everyday and see if they don’t check tickets often! maybe the people paying $100+ a month are stupid! shit was packed, ticket people couldn’t walk through if they wanted to… that’s like the fifth time in the past six months that’s happened to me…

there was a lot of it last night at vezza’s bday party.

i love how i hang out with so many different people, and different scenes and types of people.  but i always love hanging out with people i go to shows with, and just bug out and drink all night with.  these are the twenty something years i’m going to remember as right before i grew up…

speaking of growing up…
with all the “resolution” BS buzz going on, it’s been inspiring me in subtle ways…  and it makes me think of 5 years from now type shit…  and i’m scared thinking about it.

i keep hearing “oh shut up” when i keep saying i’m gonna be 30 soon because i just turned 27…  but honestly, it’s just around the corner.  and not that i’m not gonna be having fun or in my 30’s or anything, of course i am, but not the way that i am now…  but that decade - i feel will make or break my whole path in life.  i feel like every other tradition i haven’t followed in life will carry out and i won’t get married or have kids or something…  (no i didn’t have a sweet sixteen, no i didn’t go to prom, or even go to my own high school graduation, etc).  i should take it one year at a time, lol.  (psycho!)  but i know myself and just have a gut feeling, and i don’t wanna end up like that.

last year i went through a bunch of things.  good stuff, bad stuff…  some mature, some immature.  but i learn from my mistakes and can’t wait to just move on and get into the clear.

i’ve really gotta start a savings account this year.  and i think a good hunk of freelance dough is going in there.  and i’m throwing in at least $40-$80 every time i get paid also.  it’ll all add up quickly!  just gotta get the ball rolling.

ugh, i still have to file a claim against a band i will not mention for not paying me for a website…  that’s gotta be done this next week or the one after.  can’t let that slip. even if its chump change.

whatever. coffee and cake tonight.
later aligators.

so i pass by this apartment building every night to get to my York St. F train station, and there’s always this short, young, bald guy that works the door and he smiles and says goodnight and i do the same…  don’t wanna be rude…  so one day he asked me my name and i said jess, whatever.  so he’s lou…

lou decides to give me a xmas card last night since i haven’t seen him in weeks with a whole “i don’t know you, but i feel like i do” thing and he says he likes my smile, and that i should keep smiling.  and that we should totally go to lunch. and left the digits.

now i am gonna feel like a weirdo walking by that building, which has totally been my route for the 7 months i’ve been working there, because i’m not interested…  worst.

not that if he had hair i would even consider it, but i can’t stand bald heads.
CREEEEEPAYYYY!
love love love hair.

i’ve always not enjoyed new years eve, greatly due to the fact that my ex and i fought every nye…  this one is different, i’ve never felt so lonely.  and i’m pms’ing, lol.  worst.
although it’s kind of my own fault for turning down any plans thrown at me, WHATEVER.

can’t wait til tomorrow, hopefully this year won’t be full of disappointment.
not that 2008 was, just want so much more in and to my life.

i can’t believe how many people are staying in this year…
i’m hanging out with mom and the cats, lol.

happy new year if you’re reading this for whatever reason

…2008…

the only thing i really dislike about this year was part of the summer and my birthday.
and that which followed from my actions on my birthday. (sorry homie, i love you.)
oct/nov were kind of hard but i bounced back in decemeber.

best?
my new job $$$, my new tattoos, making new friends, going to mexico with m5, all the shows i went to,
me and m5 hanging out all the time, dunkin donuts was built on my corner (lol), intoxicated nights, the last of the mets games at shea, holiday cocktail lounge… tons of other stuff<3 :B

my goals for 2009?
moving out, having fun, learning more for/through work and filtering out useless people and things.
and getting rid of the red base my hair has had to endure in 2008.

nothing even started, and i’m already thinking about putting a stop to it, lol.
but you’ve got that smooth operator shit down pact.
you’re infatuated… are you?
the tail of the snake is in its teeth tonight.
round and round we go!

ugh - fight the ambition, stomp on the butterflies.
file away all of those what could we do thoughts, jessica.
but it could be so hot. but then i could be so lost.
strong will<3

power down the wheels that are turning, lol.

take a step back and think about what your blood is boiling over.
seriously? i’m laughing at you. and i hope it makes it boil even more.
erase me out of your life, i don’t need the bullshit.

encrypted, yes.
understood, i’m sure.
know i’m right? probably.
take the immaturity and put the energy into something else.
and honestly, just leave me alone from here on in.

i deleted my daily commute blog that i used to run, i got lazy.  and then i got even lazier having more than one blog at a time.  so, i’ll just post about my daily travels here…

todays issue: what on earth could people possibly have to chat on the phone about on a social level at 8 o’clock on a monday morning for an entire 30/40 min. train ride?  seriously?  your smiles and laughter kind of make me want to kick you in the teeth in the morning…  i mean yeah, i could put my ipod on, but all i really want is some peace and quiet so i can rest my brown eyes til 42nd/Bryant Pk.

haha, i’m such an asshole

i’m also getting so annoyed that people are coughing/sneezing without covering their mouths and at the people that wipe their runny noses on their hands/gloves and then touch poles.  STOP IT!!! eww - making NYC sick and shit - i’m trying to avoid sickness and not busting my ass for not holding on to something while the trains are in motion…

i wish i could feel like a rainbow.
strange thing to say?

i officially loathe christmas, and wish i could have my years go from may-nov.

i want to change my bedroom, but i can’t.  painting is too much work, and i’m moving out in a few months anyway.  i can’t move any furniture because the stupid room is setup the only way it possibly can be…  it’s shaped as a rectangle, sort of…   i took soooo much shit off of my walls last weekend.  i can’t keep sitting around feeling like i’m in my bedroom at age 16.

i’ve gotta dye my hair.

i’ve gotta learn to use my sewing machine.

i’m gonna go open itunes and listen to some awesome music and try to change things around here before i lose my mind.