out with the faint, in with the deftones.
there will be no more new posts here, strictly archives.
i can’t believe that i’ve had this domain for 7 years. #rip
ONE WEEK UNTIL I’M BACK IN SALT LAKE CITY<3333
it was the friday the 13th special at three king’s ($13 tattoo’s) and they were doing a special fundraiser for japan. they were sending all of the money they made over to japan for support to the earthquake/tsunami victims. the tattoos ended up being japanese themed this time around, and i was worried that i wasn’t going to like any of them. (you can click and zoom in to see the entire sheet with more detail). but i was figured the creative minds over there at three kings would come up with a great sheet, and that they did.
i ended up being stuck between the paper lantern, the fan and the origami crane. i didn’t want another tattoo that was primarily yellow so i went against the fan and i thought that the crane was cuter than the lantern… i thought it was going to be smaller than what it is, but i love the size of it. and the placement as well. my super handsome artist that did it, made it look beautiful. it’s so much cleaner/less playful than my other tattoos. i really like that.
i refer to it as my “mature looking tattoo”, lol.
jes got the hello kitty tattoo, super cute.
jes and i waited last friday the 13th for like 5.5 hours and never got tattoos because of how crowded it gets over there at three kings… it sucked. so this year we went “early” to ensure that we got some new ink. can’t wait for the next one, in stinking january, lol.
okay, one pic…
this one’s my favorite, hands down.
i’m back in nyc!
i really only missed my cat.
now i terribly miss my bee.
and drew+patrick.
and potatoes+bacon almost every morning.
too much to post about right now…
…this happened!!! -> -> ->
MATCHING FRIENDSHIP BACON TATTOO’S!
#UNF
i’m giving myself a little break from life for a few days, and it’s in less than a month!!!!! 
i set a spring goal for myself and i booked a trip – w00t! i’m going to salt lake city, utah to see my lovie doo miss bee and my beautiful drewnicorn!
SLC seems like a weird place to just pick up and go vacation… but last summer bee came to NYC to chill out with jes and we ended up falling into this amazing little trio of love<3 AND I NEEEED TO SEE HERRRRRR! and i’ve known drew since like, the year 2000! we met through our old websites! like, we need to meet already… and get matching bacon tattoo’s<3 #thatsreallygoingdown
caaaaaaaannnnnnnnnn’tttttttttttt waittttttttttt<3333333
things are changing.
my comfortable, habitual little world is shifting again…
two things that are going to soon affect me. they’re both negative/positive and up in the air… it’s all so 50/50 right now. i’m trying to keep a positive outlook because they’re happening as spring approaches… sort of scary, sort of refreshing. i know that my usual winter laziness and depression will melt away with all of the stupid, dirty nyc snow. either way, i can’t talk about either thing on here yet for two separate reasons. i hate that i can’t just let things spill out, but one of the things i was told not to publicly speak about… and the other i just can’t yet.
i’m seriously keeping this positive mental attitude so that i don’t spiral downward just in case it all doesn’t rule in my favor… it’s times like these where it just hits me that that i’m always so carefree and worried about having fun, being free and staying young… that’s all good stuff, i know… BUT! (…and this is very hard for me to accept…) i also can’t help also thinking sometimes about how i’m wasting time not wanting to grow up, start my company, get married and make babies in the room above. (no seriously, i WILL have that as my sleeping quarters.)
i think it’s just the whole turning thirty this year shit. it’s making me think about “seriously, start getting your shit together already, jess…” because time flies (way too quickly).
i’m not doing the usual “omg, i’m gonna be old” shit… obviously i know i’m not going to magically change this september 19th, lol… but i honestly think thirty is time to spring into preparing for “adult life” a little more than i did in my twenties is all…
on a non-dramatic note: i really just want next month to be here already so i can be HAPPY, cozy and loveddddddd and free-flowing with whatever is happening in my cornball life… i hate feeling stifled and censored.
i need to stop referring to chris as my “little brother”, he’s bigger than me… lol. so i’ll call him “little big bro”…
anyways, it’s been almost a week that he’s been here and i thought it was going to be hard to have him here because of how tight-quarters my apartment is… i’ve become so accustomed to living on my own, but after two days it was alright… it doesn’t seem as intrusive as i thought it would be, it’s been cool so far.
we didn’t grow up together and this is the first time we’ve lived together, even if it’s only temporary (my brother and i have different mothers). he likes looking at all of my pictures in my rotating/random photo screen saver (all fam/friend pics), we take walks, we talk and laugh a lot… it’s too bad it’s freezing out, or else we could go gallivanting around the city doing more things… stupid snow…
i have him watching the rangers – and he’s actually enjoying it. it’s so awesome.
he got to see two shoot out games in a week. (they’re rare, i feel.)
we have good talks about my father…
first night he was with me, i was watching judge judy with a heine light relaxing and he told me that my fathers beer of choice was heineken and that my father LOVED judge judy. #GOFIG – how funny is that?!
anyways, that’s why i haven’t really been posting – in addition to taking care of my neighbor… i’ve been spending a lot of time with him. he’s being called down to florida for something this weekend, so he’ll be leaving… but i’m glad we even got to have this time together, i think we needed it.
so far:
since my coming of age around 12/13 i absorbed and turned into:
an r&b and hip-hop head, an alternative/grunge and punk lover, a beavis & butthead (and daria) addict, a tommy hil and nautica consumer, a huge advocate of handball and public nyc parks, a rocker of a black bugaboo columbia jacket, a drinker of the finest st. ides special brew and liquors around all by 14, a super nintendo gamer nerd, a misfits addict, a graphic designer, a web designer, a super-sneaker-out-of-the-houser, a great kisser, a roamer of queens in general, a bay terrace mallrat, a thief kleptomaniac, a greenwich village dweller, a make-out slut, a smoker of pot, an adopted latina, a stoop dweller, a total hard ass, a pin cushion (i’ve had like, 11 piercings), a mosher, a friend of vampires, an MTV offices regular, a raver, a lover of anything with synth in it, a mild drug user (e), a cam girl, a blogger, a saucony’s/vans girl, an awesome girlfriend to few, a frequent MTA rider, a south-bronx dweller, a ska-loving skanker, a chick magnet, a bouncing souls show regular, a high school graduate, a video store clerk/manager, a jackass addict, an ikea addict, a tony hawk pro skater pro, an aimless whitestone stroller, a myspace fan, a graffiti lover, a sparks drinker, a roommate, a loner, a restaurant manager, a toughlover<3, a pet owner, a traveler, a glassjaw addict, a camper, a wifey, a guest list dweller, a mistress, a canvas for a few tattoo artists, a full-time website developer, someone with multi-colour hair, a brooklyn resident, a ranger fan (again<3), a tweeter, and most importantly a (self-destructively/overly loyal) good friend… etc.
which leaves me feeling like i love how all over the place i’ve been, good and bad.
i’ve also been realizing as i get older that NYC is really fucking tiny. and the older i get, the closer the social circles are linked.
(this has been proven many times in the last year…)
my friend dated this dude who was amazingly creative and seriously talented. and i remember thinking when they started dating that their creative flow together was amazing. in fact, ever since i met this girl… we’ve had such a good flow together, too.
when i met her, from day one, we just clicked. ideas flowed, we wanted to do things… this was before this cat was even in the picture. we sat there for hours chit chatting away and even though we had a website that was “coming soon” for a straight year… we launched it.
when i met jes five years ago, the whole situation was via my ex who did graff… or at least the way that i found her, he didn’t know her personally… anyhow, seeing and hearing about nyc writers that he liked got me into graff… he really liked writers that used characters, like a one icon deal, like jes’s j-heart. long story short, jes was confused with someone else that we knew with (almost) the same name and i started checking out her shit on myspace (RIP). i was looking at all of her fills and i fell in love. i remember one of the first pictures i ever used for a contact table – which is still one of my favorites – is why i started talking to her – it was adorable (below). it was a collabo between her and bob will reign.
i was instantly hooked.
(more…)
i’m wordpress’ing my company website and was going through old folders for images and found this…
i really like this.
when did i stop making rad shit like this?
aside from the horrendously bolted background, i love the colours and creativity put into it.
i miss making smaller, positioned layouts.
notice my face up in thurr with him? hehehehehehe #sneakystu
what have i been doing? i feel like i haven’t really posted here.
um. going to shows, hanging out with lauren and wilma, hanging out with jes, getting aggravated by a dude, being pleasantly surprised by another, meeting a new one, freelancing, going on a date?, going upstate a couple of times, hanging out at my moms, decorating for xmas, drinking too much coffee and booze, getting crazy on the ex, xmas shopping, crafting, cleaning, staying warm, etc.
the confusing bore that is my life… hopefully all changing soon.
alrighty! now that it’s officially december… i’m putting x-mas website wallpapers into the random background rotation here, and going to try to get into the spirit.
i haven’t enjoyed christmas in a long time… not because of anything jess-dramatic or bad associations with anything like the rest of my wretched life… christmas eve a few years ago was when my first aunt that died was really sick with lung cancer, emphysema and a lung infection. it was also around the same time that my other aunt had to get triple-bypass surgery… traumatic stuff, man.
when i was a kid, my aunt necie (the bypass surgery aunt) always hosted christmas eve… she had the biggest tree and a big house and everyone used to come over. she is my mothers sister, one of 7 sisters and 1 brother, so you can only imagine how packed the house was with each of them there and having at least two children there with them…
anyways, the year that aunt necie had the surgery she stopped hosting christmas eve. and it was really hard for my mother, my sister and i because that’s what we did ever since i was born. now we just feel kind of lost. and it’s sad that we all still don’t gather over there, but she just doesn’t want us to. and even though aunt carol didn’t die on christmas eve or day that year, i think we all associate that with this time of year.
on friday, jes and i are going to pick up a small christmas tree for my apartment. i wasn’t moved in last year in time for one, i wasn’t actually living/sleeping here until new years day… so it’ll be my first holiday here.
she bought me my first ornament for my tree, and friday we’ll be picking up a few more. i want to put together a fun christmas play list for us to get snookered to while we eat soft baked cookies, decorate my tree and hang lights. i have been searching everywhere on the internet for that madness “our house” and jingle bells mix from the new verizon commercial – it sounds awesome! and it got me all pumped for christmas…
i’ll have to put a play list together tomorrow because on thursday… rangers vs. the islanders. and i will be there. 
i honestly don’t go getting myself all caught up in online lurking caca… when i do… i assume things when i don’t know things, my imagination goes wild, i find things i don’t want to, i imagine scenarios, ahhhhhh! why drive myself crazy?
#self-control
the last few times i will confess (and these few times have reminded me of why i don’t/not to):
it’s pointless and stupid to make myself feel immature, up to no good and downright shitty, so i just stay off of fb, out of unknown twitters, and going directly to peoples twitter pages…
#NOGOOD
i’m going to trim my hair, finally re-cut in my jess-traditional short/straight “pin-uppy” (#barf) bangs, put these two colors in one half of those bangs and make the rest jet black happen next week.
i need a change.
i usually feel like i haven’t grown up… in fact, i literally just finished rearranging my toy shelf… lol.
but then i thought to myself, oh yeah. so what if i did just rearrange my toy shelf… i did it my very own apartment (roommate free) that i’ve had for exactly a year.
go go gadget responsible adult life!
…i didn’t know i was going to be on the show with jes, i thought it was just gonna be her being interviewed while sheena and i were just chillin’ out watching… but we got in on it toughlove team styles<3 spoke our minds, sheena and i got way too many laughs in and jes made me laugh with her spitfire self. ♥
things are, things are.
i’ll get back to regular updates soon, enjoying the autumn life…
ah yes, the souls show on monday… it was a great one in its own right, top 5 i would say… the set list wasn’t anything that spectacular, nothing i haven’t seen live before… it was just different to see them playing on a boat…
since i don’t feel like describing how tiny the damn boat was… here, have a look…
#lazy
on an otherwise boring, shitty day – while i’ve been in pain – i got the best voicemail ever from my friend laura<333 and it totally cheered me up…
we completely fell out of touch for 6 months for some reason? and she just called saying she was so glad to hear my voice, even though it was via my voicemail greeting, lol… and that she misses and loves me…. i love how even when we drift, we always fall right back to the crazy fun friendship we always have. i love the small handful of chicas that i actually roll with<333 that vm made me so happy!
i used to work with laura at cascarino’s in whitestone and then in bayside. we’re total goofballs together<3
look at what a little hottie she is too :rawr:
fun times!
so i was making a playlist for tomorrow’s life journey, when i realized that it was an odd mix of artists… i think…
collaging and continuing working on something cute/colourful and very s2-like
i started this right before my old computer died a few weeks ago – thought i had lost it and got pissed because my creative flow was coming back – GOT IT BACK THOUGH – all good<3
(the full image is 4000 px wide – SIDE SCROLLINGGGG – taking it back to my stujessica.net roots.)
…sometimes i hate that i use the same types of pictures in my collages, but i’ve got to come to terms with that’s just being myself… they’re my favorite things<3
friday night… i had a drinks “date”… last year was when this whole thing started with this guy… he’s in a band and shares space with my co-worker will, so will was the go-between guy for a while until i got his number… but he went off to record, i just assumed it wasn’t in my best interest so i put it off for a while, and then i lost his phone number my my iphone got stuck in recovery and i lost all of my contacts… he always just floated around in the back of my mind, so i figured why not? i’m not over-thinking things – not hoping for anything… not even sure i’m interested in anything especially seeing as what just went down with manny… just thought i’d regret it if i never did, so i did. and it went wayyyy better than expected…
i took him to holiday cocktail lounge, and he was glad that i chose that spot… he said he’d never been in there before… i told him why sophie and i started going and whatever he thought it was cool, we shot the shit for a bit… i wasn’t nervous at all and we seemed to hit it off… lots of laughing, convo was never awkward or silent and we were really comfortable with each other being touchy… (just while we were talking – on legs, arms, hands?) – he was really sweet and didn’t try to make a move on me, he just hugged me and asked me out to a movie this week. now let’s just see if he pulls through. that would be rather rad.
saturday i hung out with my love jes all day<3 and i ended up going out with her at night time… we went to some sport’s bar in astoria (that sucked) for her friends birthday and i wound up bumping into this kid brian i used to work with at the video store… who i would have LOVED to avoid for the rest of my days, but he insisted on coming up to me with a sarcastic “are you gonna say hi, or what”, so whatever.
i could be:
i should DEFINITELY be:
i sweep like twice a day, he tortures me by doing it on purpose, i know it.)i would be doing all of the above:
but i’m tired and lazy. (erica and i just stuffed ourselves with spicy nuggies from wendy’s (yes, they are back. thank you, ilya) and i managed to also fit in a cheeseburger -____-)
#fatass
in my own defense, i had a long ass day… had a lot of commuting to do… nearly died of heatstroke… came home and did the garbage and dishes right away… i have reasons to be pooped, i think!
i’m going to round up until 12:30AM and then start getting a move on.
zzz
when i’m showering or bathing, oscar sits in the bathroom with me. usually on top of the closed toilet cover… and then when i’m finished taking a shower or a bath, oscar loves going into the tub. he just sits there for a while… i think until the air isn’t warm any longer… he sits and stares at the drain or he sits and watches the water dripping. it’s really cute – he tilts his head while he does either, as if he’s trying to figure it all out.
i guess it’s his “deep time”, lol.
friday was the friday the 13th special at three kings, but unfortunately it was too busy for us to get tatted up… i got out of work at 4, but apparently that still wasn’t early enough. i went home to shower quickly and steve picked me up and then we scooped up jes and co. and shuffled over there…
we waited for four stinkin’ hours and never got in for our ink – but we all had a really good time either way, just laughin’ it up together for a while… and it wasn’t so nasty hot out either… the only unbearable thing was that i had to pee the entire time… ugh, now the next friday the 13th won’t be until next may… guess next time i’m going to take the day off instead of leaving “early”… i really wanted this tattoo, man… it was a pair of hands, cut at the wrist with blood dripping holding up the middle finger for the 1 and three fingers on the other hand for the 3 to make the 13… it would have looked so cute next to my misfits skull…
thank you jennifer madden, thank you.<3
